User:Hipponias/Make Novichok
Hey comrades, I'm Vladimir P! Don't forget to like, sub and share! Join my discord with the link in the description.
Before we begin, I just wanna thank today's sponsor, KGB. They make and deliver first-class burgers and provide "disappearances" for your political enemies or inconvenient dissidents. The first 500 people to sign up at kgb.com/vladp will get 20% off for their first month and be given three free vanishings.
Now, you guys have been asking for this video for a long time, so today I'm gonna make a classic onion Novichok with mercury chloride garnish. It's a great dish to serve to government dissidents. In fact, it will have them screaming with delight. So let's get started!
You'll need some Novichok precursor chemicals, which you can get from any Russian corner store. If you are not in Russia, use VX precursors and follow all of the instructions below, but heat the precursors for longer as it activates at a higher temperature.[1] You can buy acid cheaply from the Mafia. Sometimes you can find ones that have bone stock added to enhance the flavour. I brought my mercury cheaply from a PVC factory in Norilsk. You can get the onions from the grocery store.
Step 1: Preparation[edit | edit source]
Mix the precursors and add some water if they are in powder form. Gently heat it in a saucepan for 60 seconds.
Step 2: Mercury[edit | edit source]
Pour the mixture into your centrifuge, like what I'm doing here.
Step 3: Onions[edit | edit source]
Gently fry the onions and add to the other ingredients. Then pour into the industrial centrifuge and spin at 6000 RPM.
- ↑ If you are actually making nerve agent with advice from a humour wiki, then I guess you deserve whatever happens to you.