User:Hindleyite/PLSinfo

Since there were only a few entries this time round, I have decided to pass comment on each individually. Recorded here are some notes I made when judging the Best Illustrated Article.

In order placed on Submissions page:

Microsoft Surface by CartoonDiablo

That new coffee table Microsoft system sounds cool but you just know people are gonna use it for porn. A good opening paragraph. Fairly consistent in the product's uselessness but could have had more mentions of how people are gonna buy it by the bucketload. Maybe you could have had a slightly different approach and linked the item with a solution to child obesity.

Formatting isn't turning up that great on my computer and there are one or two speeling and grandma mistakes hither and thither.

But, the images illustrate the article rather well, even if there aren't any explicit mentions in the actual article itself. Could have been integrated better, I suppose but as stand alone images they work well. The first and second are the best.

Overall, a bit short but some very good, if a little bit tasteless chops.

Random stupidity by Uncyclopedian

I ain't gonna say too much about this. I would say it would have fared much better at the Illogicopedia Pickle awards but sadly you are too late.

The image has a slightly Pollock-esque quality about it but still looks MSpaintified.

Flute Hero by Thekillerfroggy

I liked this one. Nothing like a good video game parody.

A few nice little one liners to start off with. A nice little backstory but could have done with a few more homorous throwaway lines. Picks up at the diemond encrusted flutes bit and a nice little cosplay joke there. A good bit about the gameplay too, perhaps a few mentions of specific 'excessive blowing' related deaths would have improved this bit slightly.

Playable songs section. Bootleg mentions are funny. Another section at end as to fate of Minomya would have been nice, some quotes or an interview or something.

No probs with formatting/spelling etc.

Very good linkage with article + pics. 9/10 on relevance. Could have done with some more time spent on them though, pity you ran out of time. I would have loved to see some more in-game shots and a queue of two people outside Gamestation on the day of its release.

EDSAC by Jocke Pirat

A good start with the student 'cheating' case and '3 cans per minute' bits, which I thought were quite good.

Developed from a vaccuum cleaner = a concept that made me grin. The milestones bit is best of the article though, 1936 and 1944 events made me laugh most.

"However, we can only process 1 at a time" is a good last line to sum up the Daily Mail quote. Not a problem with grammar and spelling.

The pics are very good. Coke one is best along with janitor one, which both illustrate stuff in the article well.

UnBooks:The Secret Origins of Cream; Supergroup by Zombiebaron

Er, shouldn't this be in the other namespace category? These rules are too fuzzy. Anyway, I shall rate it as I did the others.

1966 and not a mention of the World Cup? Preposterous :) . The bit about criminals in the second para there reminds me of Billy Bragg's current project trying to get musical instruments into prisons. Maybe you could put "40 years later, Billy Bragg would attempt to emulate this only to be eaten alive by monsters that lurk in prison corridors", or something similar/funnier (look, I can't think of anything remotely humorous right now).

It's very well written but a bit short. I want mooooooooooooore. Ahem. It also suits the format of a book, which merits extra marks there.

Look, the pics are fairly well done but only the middle one made me laugh a bit. Text is great, can't fault it, in fact. One or two small speeling mistaks though.

Gray squirrel by Famine

Some solid scene setting at the beginning there and ooh, and I like the IRA reference. Heh, GPS. Nice comparison to red squirrels and other consistent real life war references.

"10-day waiting period on handgun purchases." Me likey the finishy line.

I'm a bit dubious of the concept, as Nazi jokes have been done to death. BUT this is funny and there are no pointless Hitler references, so whoop de doodle. Which means I like it. But I would have approached this as a straight battle between red and grey, losing the WWII references.

The writing is top notch - bit of a build up then a funny line is an effective method. No problems with spelling/grammar.

I like the idea of the images but they look a bit MSPainty. The squirrel march is the best. It looks as though you used the same squirrel image for most of the pics but that's not necessarily a bad thing. And the crap quality has its appeal, I suppose.

Germ Warfare by Severian

Ooh, a skin article. Yeeeeah.

Well, I read it and I grinned through most of it. It's exactly as sexist as the army would be. I like the writing and the scenarios painted such as the scripted conversations.

Here is the sticking point though. Even though the writing is good I'm not sure about the overall colour scheme/background. The links don't show up well - maybe you could have made them a lighter shade of blue. In other words, it seems gimmicky.

Sorry, but it's kind of my thing to point out faults in design (it's what I do for a living) so it's nothing personal :). I'll buy you a beer later.

Pics. I'm not sure what was edited here but the "Spermicidal Foam" one was best. Maybe you could have 'chopped a situation with soldiers viewing the OHP with the girl pic on it.

Glad you opted not to go for the gritty reality approach to the images.

(Clicks on the link at bottom)

Arrrrrrgh!!!!!

The order

OK, don't get pissed off, please. Weighting: Imagery=6, writing=4. Scroll down when you are ready.

Ready?

1. EDSAC by Jocke Pirat
2. Gray squirrel by Famine
3. Flute Hero by Thekillerfroggy
4. Microsoft Surface by CartoonDiablo
5. UnBooks:The Secret Origins of Cream; Supergroup by Zombiebaron
6. Germ Warfare by Severian

The Wooden spoon: Random stupidity by Uncyclopedian

Closing notes

Well done to all the entrants. Overall I'd say this years best illustrated category was poorly represented but there are some good photo chops there. I dunno if any would make feature status though, but then none from the last PLS did anyway, er, I think. Maybe I just h ave high standards.

I am a hypocrite as I have just ripped apart your spelling and grammar but can't be bothered spellchecking my own PLS comments page. You can give me a kidney punch for that and for also not placing your article as highly as I should have.

But I have to say there were no clear winners, each article has its own merits and it was quite tough to rate 'em.

And finally

May I award Enegma with an ice cream pie, flavour of his choice for organising the contest. I recommend cheese 'n' ham.