User:Hess the Mess

Userboxes

la-F This user got an F in Latin and likes their native language better (if they have one). la-F This user is a reincarnation of Red Pollard. This user plays guitar, because it attracts more groupies, and gets more solos than the bass. This user is adept at suicide for a small fee. Cool, aint it? Meow! Meow! Meow! Meow! Meow meow meow meow! MEOW! Meow! This user needs a steady supply of Caffeine. So hand it over . . . NOW. (List of users who NEED caffeine) This user's primary source of artwork is MS Paint. il-4 This user speaks Igpay Atinlay at a near-native level. il-4 This user is a big pianist, and as such believes they are better than all other musicians. uk-X This user only speaks Correct English enough to seduce native Correct English speakers . uk-X re-P This fucker speaks Recondite English heavily laced with profanity that would make a fucking asshole sailor blush from all the g*******d blasphemy. re-P

This user is a complete, irredeemable arthritis. They are Bat Fuck Insane, and defibrillate at a pedophile.

Noob Alert!

Long time Uncyclopedia lurker, first time account holder. Mostly here to fix stupid (or more likely create it until I get used to all this).

Anyone want to be my mentor?

Anyhow...

I'm a relatively shy, elusive creature. My favourite musical genres are death metal and any folk subgenres. I'm a girl, in the physiological sense. I'm a feminist. I hate most feminists. I hate most people who hate feminists. I'm from midwestern America, but people tend to ask me if I'm from another country because I apparently have some sort of slight Western European accent.

I'm pretty critique-sensitive, so please be an asshole until I get used to it.

Favourite Article List

• Real Life
• AAAAAAAAA! (because it still makes me giggle.)
• The Great Aspie War of Ought Six (and all things related.)
• ...will add more upon cession of boredom.