User:Hess the Mess

Userboxes

la F This user got an F in Latin and likes their native language better (if they have one). la F This user is a reincarnation of Red Pollard. This user plays guitar, because it attracts more groupies, and gets more solos than the bass. This user is adept at suicide for a small fee. Cool, aint it? Meow! Meow! Meow! Meow! Meow meow meow meow! MEOW! Meow! This user needs a steady supply of Caffeine. So hand it over . . . NOW. (List of users who NEED caffeine) This user's primary source of artwork is MS Paint. il 4 This user speaks Igpay Atinlay at a near-native level. il 4 This user is a big pianist, and as such believes they are better than all other musicians. uk X This user only speaks Correct English enough to seduce native Correct English speakers. uk X re P This fucker speaks Recondite English heavily laced with profanity that would make a fucking asshole sailor blush from all the g*******d blasphemy. re P

This user is a complete, irredeemable frying pan. They are Bat Fuck Insane, and adhere at an igloo.

Noob Alert!

Long time Uncyclopedia lurker, first time account holder. Mostly here to fix stupid (or more likely create it until I get used to all this).

Anyone want to be my mentor?

Anyhow...

I'm a relatively shy, elusive creature. My favourite musical genres are death metal and any folk subgenres. I'm a girl, in the physiological sense. I'm a feminist. I hate most feminists. I hate most people who hate feminists. I'm from midwestern America, but people tend to ask me if I'm from another country because I apparently have some sort of slight Western European accent.

I'm pretty critique-sensitive, so please be an asshole until I get used to it.

Favourite Article List

• Real Life
• AAAAAAAAA! (because it still makes me giggle.)
• The Great Aspie War of Ought Six (and all things related.)
• ...will add more upon cession of boredom.