User:Hess the Mess

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la-F
This user got an F in Latin and likes their native language better (if they have one).
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This user is a reincarnation of Red Pollard.
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This user plays guitar, because it attracts more groupies, and gets more solos than the bass.
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This user is adept at suicide for a small fee. Cool, aint it?
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Meow! Meow! Meow! Meow meow meow meow! MEOW!
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This user needs a steady supply of Caffeine. So hand it over . . . NOW.
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This user's primary source of artwork is MS Paint.
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il-4
This user speaks Igpay Atinlay at a near-native level.
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This user is a big pianist, and as such believes they are better than all other musicians.
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uk-X
re-P
This fucker speaks Recondite English heavily laced with profanity that would make a fucking asshole sailor blush from all the g*******d blasphemy.
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This user is a complete, irredeemable paedophile. They are Bat Fuck Insane, and fart at a redwood.
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Noob Alert![edit | edit source]

Long time Uncyclopedia lurker, first time account holder. Mostly here to fix stupid (or more likely create it until I get used to all this).

Anyone want to be my mentor?

Anyhow...[edit | edit source]

I'm a relatively shy, elusive creature. My favourite musical genres are death metal and any folk subgenres. I'm a girl, in the physiological sense. I'm a feminist. I hate most feminists. I hate most people who hate feminists. I'm from midwestern America, but people tend to ask me if I'm from another country because I apparently have some sort of slight Western European accent.

I'm pretty critique-sensitive, so please be an asshole until I get used to it.

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