User:Frinko/Crazy Hand
The Jee Man Himself has Shown, in His infinite Wisdom, that He is the Ultimate Purveyor of all things Awesome, Nifty, Spiffy, and generally Interesting. He has personally Reviewed this article and Given His Blessing. The submitter may be Forgiven three venial sins or one mortal sin.
“Well...he is Crazy.”
“I'm not touching him with a twenty foot pole.”
“Why did I set him free?”
“Son of a bitch, that guy's nuckin' futz.”
“Sweet jesus and man pickles!”
“He thought a can of Dr. Pepper was made by my brother...”
“HO-LY S***.”
“GOBBLE GOBBLE GOBBLE!! I'M AN OSTITCH!!”
| Idiot | |
| |
| Crazy Hand | |
|---|---|
| Classification | Abomination |
| Position | Brother of Ruler of the Universe |
| Weapon | Something....and Bombs! |
| Loyalty | The bird in his head. And the neighbors dog! |
| In it for | The Sugar!!! |
Crazy Hand is the brother of the Self proclaimed god of all awsominity, Master Hand. He was going to appear in Mario Hoops 3-on-3, but he was to crazy to be in it.
Crazy Hand, is, obviously, a giant crazy glove with mental problems and a whole load of Bombs. He knows no fear, infact he knows nothing....at all. His Brother put him in a Box and mailed him to hell but his Crazy Powers landed him in SPAAAAAACCCEEEE where he got hit with OMGWTF!? Rays giving him his Crazy Powers
Family[edit | edit source]
Crazy Hand is one of two children. His mother was killed giving birth to Master Hand,who also killed his father when he cut off his allowance. Crazy hand then went über insane and was thrown in jail by the coppers. Thusly making him belive people were Chocolate Rabbits and began to eat the entire state of New Jersey. He also found Jesus and Budda in the very cell he was in.
His brother, Master Hand currently rules the multiverse and has freed Crazy Hand to gain more publicity. Crazy hand has special connections with Bowser for an unmentionable task, he can summon Bob-bombs from bowser's castle and throw them at the ground. This seems useless, but for anyone stupid enough to stand under him while he does this move, it is annoying.
He has an imaginary dog called Waffo Taco probably named that from his two favorite foods Waffles and Tacos.....and Cheerios.
Rivalries[edit | edit source]
Crazy Hands greatest rival, is and always will be, a Monkey. the Blaspemous ape stole his Muffin one day at the Zoo, reducing him to A Sniveling Baby, until his big brother, Master Hand slapped the monkey, directly into Chuck Norris Penis, sending half othe the planet into itslef, effectivly deviding it by zero.
The Monkey, killed on impact, now serves as Crazy Hands greatest snack, filled with Creamy maggots, and crispy Worms.
Another enemy of him is his reflection, that stalks him and taunts him and his "Smartnessicity"
Food[edit | edit source]
- Crazy Hand invented Brownies.
- If you get Lemonade from Crazy Hand, pour it out.
- Scissors were originally invented by Crazy Hand as baby food....you could guess the results.
- Crazy Hand is responsible for McDonalds Chicken Selects. He ripped the penis off a male chicken and the rest, they say, was history.
- Crazy Hand enjoys eating Babies
- Crazy Hand enjoys tacos, but the last one he ate blew apart Pangaea.
- If Crazy Hand eats beans, kiss your butt goodbye.
- Crazy Hand had chili once. The death count was 30,000,000.
- He invented the term opening a can of whoop ass.
- Crazy Hand CAN believe it's not butter!
- Crazy Hand CAN see why the kids like Cinnamon Toast Crunch!
Science[edit | edit source]
- Crazy Hand broke the law of physics before anyone else could.
- Crazy Hand is the reason for seizures.
- Crazy Hand smacked the AIDs out of a man. Then he caught them and smacked them out of himself.
- Master Hand donated 30,000 dead bodies to science, while Crazy Hand donated himself to science 30,000 times.
- Crazy Hand is why Petey Piranha was mutated from a regular piranha plant.
- Pi was almost ended by this fool!
- Electricity was invented by Crazy Hand. End of story!
Misc.[edit | edit source]
- Crazy Hand invented the insane asylum so he could have a home..
- Crazy Hand is the only one to ever stick out his middle finger in every direction.
- Crazy Hand got Futurama cancelled because he thought Fry killed Crazy Hand.
- Crazy Hand is...PEOPLE!
- When Crazy Hand gives you The Finger, you Smell it
Fights[edit | edit source]
Crazy Hand vs. The Sky: Win, resulted in the creation of night time.
Crazy Hand vs. Darth Vader: Win, Vader then went Bat Shit insane.
Crazy Hand vs. Master Hand: Loss, resulted in the creation of the taco.
Crazy Hand vs. Sandbag: Loss. Sandbag is more powerful than you believe...
Crazy Hand vs. God: Win, Earth was created for God to vent his anger on.
Crazy Hand vs. Master Chief: Win, resulted in the creation of electricity.
Crazy Hand vs. Crazy Hand: Draw, neither could make a hit.
Crazy Hand vs. Scorpion: Loss. Crazy Hand then invented Wikipedia......somehow.