User:Docile hippopotamus/HowTo:Become RAHB
Who are you going to trust: this Uncyclopedia article, or your lying eyes?
“The cavalry has arrived.”
“What can I say? You've got me pinned. I've been thinking lately of moving on to brocolli, but you know...carrots are good for your eyes and stuff.”
So…you want to be RAHB? Who can blame you? Who wouldn’t want to be totally lame cool like RAHB?
Whats that? Are you asking me, “How do I become RAHB?” Well I’m glad you asked. All you need to do is follow five simple steps, and then you’re RAHB!
Step 1: Murder RAHB[edit | edit source]
Now I know this may sound a little harsh, but don't you dare pretend you haven't thought about this before, I AM SICK OF YOUR LIES! There should be no problem ‘taking care of’ RAHB as long as you use the correct weaponry, but if you do need help, ask help from his adoptee's, who will supply you with the unViagra needed to incapata incapiti RAHBicide kill him.
Step 2: Nominate your own articles for VFH[edit | edit source]
When your RAHB, your articles are soo cool that people won’t nominate them for VFH, so you’ll have to nominate them yourself. Be sure to bribe and threaten users so they vote for you, or else they won’t vote, since they will think that they are not cool enough to vote for your articles unless bribed or threatened.
Step 3: Listen to bad music[edit | edit source]
No one knows why RAHB listens to Frank Zappa, not even RAHB.
Step 4: Talk obsessively about your dick[edit | edit source]
You’re not RAHB unless you’ve got an obsession with dicks. Talk about how long and mighty it is, and don’t worry that your lying about your dick (RAHBs is only 2 inch).
Step 5: Complain about everything[edit | edit source]
Whenever someone says something you don't agree with, ask him or her, “Is This Some Kind of Fucking Joke?!” then surprise them.
What now?[edit | edit source]
Now that the real RAHBs gone and your acting like RAHB, people will think your RAHB and you can take over his place on Uncyclopedia! AND BAN ANYONE WHO THINKS OVERWISE!
See also[edit | edit source]
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1 sentence from this article was originally sporked from HowTo: Become a Top Gear Presenter. |