User:Chiafriend12/Sandbox
Well whaddaya know, you stumbled across my sandbox! Congradulations for you. You are now awarded the non-existant barnstar of non-existancy!.......Or not.
- Warning this page was written by a UnNews n00bie, and reading this may cause im/explosions to one's cranium.
- No, seriously, this page was written by a UnNews n00bie and your may cause you to have sudden death.
August 6th, 2007, East Asia
It started with trying to make things better, but resulted with 1,850,000 deaths just in the first day from battle, but 2.9 billion deaths overall. Kim Jung, the crazy dictator of North Korea started today just wanting to have the United States, South Korea and anyone else that didn't like him to, well, not not like him. Kim sent an email to the leaders and relatively every high government authority in the United States of America, South Korea, Japan, China, Russia, Mongolia, Vietnam, Austrailia, France, Spain, Portugal, Iran, Pakistan and Afghanistan trying to fix and mend holes in his relationship with the world. Lieutenant General Homer Johnson, 52 of Australia released his email to the press. In its original form, it read:
- "Greetings General. I, Kim Jung am trying to untie Asia, the Pacific and western Europe by their foundations in order to cause trust with one another and a strong, secure sence among all of our citizens in case of a war breaks out. You may be thinking 'why is he reaching out to everyone like this?' One simple answer. I dream that atleast half of the world can be in a single untied utopia in which everyone has a portable music player, a house, a car, all things that aren't always basic luxuries to everyone.
- I'm not just sending this to you General. I'm sending a very similar email to every high authority in the United States of America, South Korea, Japan, China, Russia, Mongolia, Vietnam, Austrailia, France, Spain, Portugal, Iran, Pakistan and Afghanistan. Please discuss this with your leader to that these glorious nations may all once be untied."
When asked how Johnson felt about this email, he strongly said "Since this is from 'Jung, this can only be no good. He even says that he wants to untie us by our foundations, and a that he dreams 'single utopia'. Sounds like he's warning us of a nuclear war. I want to send my troops in immediatly and crush him!"
Our very own George W. Bush was the 1st to recieve a copy of the email. When asked how he felt about the email, he responded by saying, "I reckon' with all his nucular testin' and all, he's up ta' no dagnabit good." 15 minutes after our interview with "Dubyah'" all Hell broke out. The United States of America, South Korea, Japan, Austrailia, France, Spain, Portugal, all declared full-scale war on North Korea. Because of peace treaties and alliances, The United Kingdom, Germany, Poland, Ghana and Papua New Guinea joined in on the fun...Erm, war. Yeah, war. That's what I meant...Why would this be called "fun"? Not that I'm a serial killer or anything. Anyway, to the contrary of what most would've expected, China, Mongolia, Vietnam, Iran, Pakistan and Afghanistan all declared war on every country that declared war on North Korea. Because of their alliances, Cambodia, Iraq, Tajikistan and Uzbekistan joined the fight to save North Korea from imminent destruction.
The first battle was launched by Tajikistan with a collaberation of Vietnam and China. They invaded and captured the Japanese island of Iwo Jima in under 25 minutes.
An hour later Iraq and Iran together invaded the South-Eastern coast of Spain, and advanced 10 miles inland over a course of 2 hours.
The biggest and most violent battle happened 4 hours after the Iraqis and Iranians reached their 10 mile inland objective, 7 and a half hours after the first attack. The United States of America and United Kingdom both launched unknown types of missiles to the somewhat costal Chinese cities of Nanjing and Jinan, but only killed about 100 Chinese. The United States of America then promptly invaded with the 75th Ranger Regiment, 1st Infantry Division, 3rd Infantry Division and Dick Cheney himself. Dick overestimated the damage and casualties done by the missiles, and was slaughtered along with half of the 1st Infantry by the Chinese beach defences. After the beachhead was secured the, survivors celebrated the death of their vice-president. "If only it was Bush and not the vice" said Lance Corporal Alottablu Dinguts (not to be confused with "A lot of blood and guts").
At roughly the same time as the invasion of China, Iraqi insurgents captured Baghdad and the surounding area, along with several other random towns.
Because of The United Kingdom and United States' mass casualties in Iraq, mainly Baghdad, launched several, once again unknown, missiles towards Baghdad. It was uncomfirmed if the missiles made it to Iraq, as the insurgents stole most of America's tanks and anti-aircraft vehicles and could've shot down the missiles.
Several hours later, at the 20 hour mark of the war, Cambodia and Vietnam attacked Papua New Guinea, mainly with sticks and large rocks. The New Guineans were slaughtered, even though each of their soldiers were equiped with an AR-10, AK-74 or an unknown type of handheld bazooka (HhBzka-99). The attackers suffered only 4 wounded soldiers, while Papua suffered with over 20,000 dead. According to Sergeant Dum Bass, a captured New Guinean soldier, "There was just too many rocks! We were overwhelmed with those little 15 gram buggers.".
At the peak of all this excitement-excitement? Ermm...Carnage. Yeah, that's it...Carnage...At the peak of all of this Poland finally made a move and launched 40,565 18 ton nuclear missiles at North Korea, China, Turkmenistan, Uzbekistan Iraq, Iran, Cambodia and Vietnam. Because of Poland an estimated 2.9 billion more people are dead and all of Asia is radioactive.
When new British Prime Minister, Gordon Brown, was interviewed about his point of the nuclear missile attack, Brown simply said, "That is the single best example of using nukes to their ability." Mid-sentance an MI6 agent came and wispered something into Brown's ear. He continued by yelling, "What?! It wasn't the US?! ****!!! What the **** was Poland thinking?!" Brown was once again stopped mid-sentance because he imploded from his lack of Burger King Chicken Fries in his diet.
Momentarily after Gordon Brown imploded, Your Mom, Kim Jung's personal translater and typist explained, "I'm very sorry to say this, but when I typed the email to all the recievers I meant 'unite', not 'untie'." There was a long pause.
Simultaneously everyone within 500 yards of him stared and yelled "N00b!" four times a second.
--Chiafriend12, UnNews
- 1 - Page is born.
- 2 - Page learns how to walk.
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- 4 - Gets a bike.
- 5 - Learns to ride his bike.
- 399 - Page diagnosed with CSIholicism.
- 402 - Page joins the Secret Service.
- 403 - Page forbidden.
- 404 - Page not found.
- 405 - Page found in abandoned car trunk outside of town.
- 406 - Page is in coroner's office.
- 407 - Page has an autopsy.
- 408 - Page is diagnosed with blunt forced trauma to the head and severation of the Carotid artery.