User:C'Raisin/Mayonnaise

Mayonnaise is a sticky, gooey, white liquid.

History of Mayonnaise

Mayonnaise was created in 1969 by I'mæduv Mayønæs the seaman, when he was choking a chicken, a strange white liquid came out of it's mouth, he tasted it and decided to call it Mayonnaise (he didn't know how to spell his name). He sold it as "Imaduv Seaman's Mayonnaise" and everyone bought it because they thought it was tasty.

Mayonnaise Production

Mayonnaise is made from a substance produced in chicken's throats, which choking would cause them to vomit out. The chickens are put in a machine that chokes them to get the substance. Many chickens suffocate in the process. Then, the substance is mixed with sugar, saturated fat, trans fat, monosodium glutamate, high fructose corn syrup, fully hydrogenated soybean oil, beef spinal cord extract, and natural and artificial flavors. Mayonnaise is cooked in huge spherical chambers, and mixed processed with other totally safe things. After it is done cooking, it is shot out of a tube, into jars to be sold at stores.

Controversy

Some people won't eat mayonnaise because it has too much fat, sugar, egg yolk, and 2% milk in it. So now there's DyetManays^TM, which instead has trans fat, Ethylene Glycol, OvaFree, and Soy Milk.