User:Bill Door/HowTo:Not Think About the Pink Elephant
Several times in life, one may be requested not to think about a certain animal, namely - a pink elephant. This, as all should know, is a clever and sinister method of mind control, designed to make your mind susceptible to influences from the outside. However, with the help of these easy steps, you too will be able to defend yourself from becoming a puppet of evil masters.
Step One: Run Away![edit | edit source]
The best way to prevent mind control is to nip it in the budd, that is, in this case, avoiding The Request Not to Think About the Pi... (DAMN!). Therefore, upon seeing a person who you know to be, or might be an evil master looking for his next victim, simply escape. It is also advised to inform others of the impending danger. The official form of address in this case is "RUN FOR YOU LIVES! RUN!! He's trying to control your MIIIIIIINDDSSSSS!!!" while flapping your arms wildly.
Step Two: Think About Something Else[edit | edit source]
If you have failed in escaping before being confronted with The Request, our best advice is to think about something else, and quickly. It can be whether or not you remembered to feed the cat, that n00b you owned yesterday, or even that special someone that you love so much. Using the "Clear Mind" defense (i.e, not thinking about anything) is not a good idea, since the evil master will then be able to actually implant that certain thought in your head, paving him the road to making you a mindless zombie slave.
Step Three: Do NOT turn to associations[edit | edit source]
Whatever you do, do not start associating, for this creates an extremely slippery path back to the unwanted thought, a path which can be easily used by the evil master. For this very reason, while thinking about the something, it is not advised to think about things that are in the pattern of "colour-object" ("green hammer", for example) or issues of religion, as they may bring you to the unwanted thought be means of association so quickly you won't have the chance to stop it in time (God -> FSM -> Invisible Pink Unicorn -> Pink El... DAMN!).
Step Four: If All Else Fails...[edit | edit source]
In the event of you failing in all of the above steps and thinking about... IT, you must perform the following procedure, if possible: Close your eyes, cover your ears and run away in the manner described in Step One. As you run away, putting on your anti-mind-control cap is a great idea, but don't use a tin one, as they actually amplify the mind-controlling signal. Instead, it's best to use a cap made out of Lead.
Conclusion[edit | edit source]
I hope this article will help you in prevent your mind being controlled in the future. Remember - evil masters who seek new recruits for their zombie armies are everywhere, so be prepared, alert at all times, and keep in mind the dire consequences of you thinking about the Pink Elephant. Or, rather, don't.
 | This article needs to be EXPANDED |