User:Awesome Man

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This article is obviously created by someone who is Fucking Rad, which makes this article totally sweet. And awesome.

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Awesome Man
A police sketch of Awesome Man. Kind of a crappy picture, though.
Publisher Uncyclopedia First appearance This article Created by Jesus
Statistics Real name Unknown, but DEFININTLEY not Michael Thompson. No way in hell. Status Fucking awesome! Affiliations Rad people Previous affiliations Ciggarettes and Mary Jane ("To keep me insane!") Notable aliases Ruler of Radical, King of Coolness, Duke of Dynamite Notable relatives Rage and Love (Mother and Father), Major Victory (alter Ego) Notable powers Awesome combat, ability to turn homeless into ally ninjas

“I enjoy a warm glass of scotch.”

~ Awesome Man on himself

Awesome Man, ruler of radical, king of coolness, and duke of dynamite, is the resident superhero of Awesome City. While he is known as Awesome MAN, he is actually a boy around 14-16 years old. Though his true identity is not known, he is DEFINETLY not me. No way. Get away from my closet.

Becoming A Hero

Awesome Man was most likely born a normal boy, who probably smoked weed (The medical marijuana, I swear!), flipped off his teacher behind her back(That bitch was asking for it! 45?!?), and wacked off to Jessica Alba (I hear his dick is 16 inches long!). But all that changed one dark and stormy night. When walking home from a crack house, he was ambushed and bitten by a radioactive emo. After several minutes of agony, he gained superpowers and became Awesome Man!

Superpowers

-Number of people who have had their ass handed to them by Awesome Man.

• Awesome flight

• Awesome Punch

• Poison Sting

• Awesome beam

• Immunity to Ground and Ghost type attacks

• Awesome ability to turn the homeless into rad ninjas

• Awesome telekinesis

• Hydro Pump

• Awesome Psychosis

• Awesome fake British accent

• Awesomeness

• Search your deck for a card called "Awesome Man" and add this card to your hand. Shuffle your deck.

Major Victory, Awesome Man's alter ego on "Who Wants To Be A Superhero?".

Trials of a Superhero

“That asshole Stan Lee is gonna pay for kicking me off his show. OF COURSE I'M A FUCKING PARODY!”

~ User:Awesome Man on "Who Wants To Be A Superhero?"

In order to become a full- fledged superhero, Awesome Man applied as a contestant on the reality show, "Who Wants To Be A Superhero?", under the alias "Major Victory." To further himself in the competition, he made up a false background story of how he was enslaved as a child and forced to be a male stripper, which touched the hearts of all the contestants (except the Iron Enforcer. That fucker had no heart). He made it to the final three, along with Fat Ass Momma and Feedback, at which point Stan Lee eliminated him for becoming "A parody of a supehero." Awesome Man declared a jihad on Stan Lee and stormed off the set. He later apologized for declaring a holy war and asked "Pretty-please with sugar on top!" to enter in the show's second season. Stan Lee is "Still thinking about it."