Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/user:waylander37/David Gemmell
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user:waylander37/David Gemmell[edit source]
Waylander37 22:48, July 5, 2011 (UTC)
- Hmmm. This seems interesting. I shall do it!---
15:48, July 6, 2011 (UTC)
| Humour: | 4 | As soon as I started reading the article, I was thrown off by that "kiss my arse JRR Token" remark. That just comes out of nowhere and is really random, so I would get rid of that. I do like how others try to challenge his work. I think you should develop more with that. But I think the parts that he is hired to ruin their rivals works but needs more development. And try not to make things too dark; try to keep it with the humor. Also, I looked up Gemmel on Google (I do this to know about the subject the article is based off of) and saw he started writing when he was told he was sick with something, but when he finished he found he was misdiagnosed. Maybe you cam make some humor with that. And he had another wife in his life, maybe use that in the article. I know the article is still in progressed, but there's much info of the guy to be made into humor, so use that info well. |
| Concept: | 2 | Ok, so I can understand that you're creating an article about a British writer well known for his works. However, the way you executed the concept the article does not truly work out well. While few parts contain actual truth about Gimmel's life and works, most of it seems like trying to put a real life character into a fictional adventure story. Sorry to say this, that doesn't really work out. And may be viewed by the reader as a article made by some noob who has no idea of who he is writing about. Not that you are one, this is is just an example of what a reader would say. It's also a well known fact that the truth is better than nonsense. But that's doesnt mean you can't add a little fiction to the article. I do it myself, even with real life people. So somewhere in you're article you can do something like him being on some quest against radical science fiction writers, as long ad you don't make it the central theme of your article. But it's you article, make it however you want. Its just at it's current stage it's not going anywhere. |
| Prose and formatting: | 7 | So far spelling is good. I'm using my iPhone so I can't use Microsoft word. But almost everything looks good. At the last paragraph, I think you meant band to be banned. And there are red links, and they serve no purpose, so they should go. Even though things look good, best go over the article to fix some mistakes or get someone from the proofread service to do it for you. |
| Images: | 3 | There was one, but looking at the file name as well as well as looking up pics of him on google I highly doubt that's home. Keep it if you want, but at least make the image bigger, it's a bit on the short side. And shouldn't it be on top of the article instead of on the bottom? I'll be nice and give this score a three, but more pictures are needed for a better score should you request the finished work to be reviewed. |
| Miscellaneous: | 4 | My average grade of this article. |
| Final Score: | 20 | Don't be discouraged by the low grade. The article is still in the creation progress, so grades are low. Anyways, feel free to ask questions or have someone else review this. Cheers! |
| Reviewer: | ---   04:37, July 8, 2011 (UTC)
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