Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/numismatist
numismatist[edit source]
Gamestud 02:01, 8 April 2008 (UTC)
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A big mug o' reviewin' strength tea? Why, that must mean this article is being reviewed by: UU - natter  (While you're welcome to review it as well, you might like to consider helping someone else instead). (Also, if the review hasn't been finished within 24 hours of this tag appearing, feel free to remove it or clout UU athwart the ear'ole). |
Crikey, this has sat here a while unreviewed. I shall rectify matters! --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 20:06, Apr 23
| Humour: | 7 | Hang on, this looks familiar - oh yeah, I popped through and linkified it up a short while back. Well, I thought then, as I think now, that this is not bad, although I was (as I suspect others were) a little wary at the title. You have a line here in fairly subtle humour, rarely overplaying a joke. I like that.
The final two sections caught my eye a bit - the Mad Cow Disease bit seems quite random, for a start, and completely out of place with the rest of the article. I'm sure you can come up with a better reason for not cleaning coins than that - how about some of those coins are so old it's only the protective layer of lint, bubble gum and candy wrappers that are holding them together? Something a little less... random. Secondly, I like the but about buying self-help books, but think the "idiot" bit is a little over-the-top. You are already showing by context that you think these people are idiots, so keep it a little more subtle. Something like "if you are the type of person that buys the "How To Get Rich Quick" books that the various millionaires with the even more various accents publish, then yes - and furthermore, perhaps you'd be interested in the author's own "Which Get Rich Scheme Is Right For Me?" book, a snip at only $35.95 (plus postage)". You've done quite well to keep most of this article in a decent tone, so spend a little more time making it slightly more consistent. |
| Concept: | 6 | You picked a tough sell here, my friend - this is going to be a difficult article to get people to read, by its very nature. You make a fairly good start by keeping your intro short and simple, with a nice bit of reversal to show the humour from the start. I wonder if you've hamstrung yourself there slightly by the nature of the joke - Mr T is a bit of a meme, and as such articles featuring his name instantly start ringing the wrong sort of bells around here, and although he's a good fit for the joke, I suspect one or two readers might see his name and not want to read further. Perhaps a generalisation to do with rappers might help?
Other than that, once you have people reading it, I think your style works well enough, there's enough mileage in the "make dull hobby sound interesting" concept to make this worthwhile. |
| Prose and formatting: | 7 | Fine as it goes. Some nice type added a bunch of links for you, which helps, and the writing is fine - no real spelling or grammar howlers to pick you up on. You might, however, want to consider splitting each section up into a couple of paragraphs, with a line of space between them - this tends to help make an article look less daunting, and more attractive to the reader (sadly it tends to work too). Try to place each gap after a good line or joke, as the helps too - people who skim read first time through are more likely to pick up a few good lines and return for a proper read. |
| Images: | 8 | About the right number, fairly well used. None of them are particularly relevant of themselves, but they are captioned well enough to work. Thumbs up here. |
| Miscellaneous: | 7 | Averaged. |
| Final Score: | 35 | This shows promise, for a first article. I note from your contribs that you haven't returned recently - I hope that's just because you're waiting for a review, and that this will encourage you to return, because there are some nice lines in this and suggests that you could be a good addition to the ranks here at Uncyc.
As you've not been about for a little while, I'll end the review here. However if you return following this and want any more thoughts, drop me a message on my talk page and I'll see what I can do. Hope to see you around! Finally, this is only my opinion, others are available. And good luck! |
| Reviewer: | --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 20:32, Apr 23 | |