Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Your Math Tutor
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Your Math Tutor[edit source]
Don't know if this is good yet. I think it needs a review before I move it to mainspace
(talk) 22:41, 10 May 2009 (UTC)
| Humour: | 6 | Well Jack, I think you need to develop this a bit more before you decide to move this to userspace. You've got your overall concept down, but your execution needs some work- towards the end, the swearing was getting a bit bothersome, and I think the article would be funnier as if you were interacting as well, such as in HowTo:Get Over Jenny. |
| Concept: | 7.5 | I like your concept of someone teaching you a math lesson, but I think it's a bit rough around the edges. When I read this, this person didn't really sound like a math tutor, more like a pissed off, sex-addicted teenager. Your concept will work so much better if you make your narrator sound more professional. |
| Prose and formatting: | 7 | Your formatting is decent, and your sections are evenly seperated from one another, which is good. I have two main problems: first, your images are a bit small, and while this works OK with the amount of text, I think that if you plan to expand you should get some larger images. Second, you should probably spellcheck this a few times for puncuation errors-it wasn't too major, but it would make your article look a lot nicer. |
| Images: | 7 | Your images are adequate, and while they don't have any LOL moments in their own right, they seem like they belong in the article (with the possible exception of the third one). Like I said earlier, if you plan on expanding this, you should probably increase the size of your images as well. |
| Miscellaneous: | 6.5 | My overall grade of the article. |
| Final Score: | 34 | Basically, you've got a good concept and some decent writing. The best thing you can do for your article right now is keep working on it. Spend a week or two developing it, and tweak the concept a bit so the math tutor sounds more like a math tutor. Once you're done expanding, spellchecking, and revising, let me know-I think this might be feature material if you work it out right. Good luck! =) |
| Reviewer: | Saberwolf116 01:47, 11 May 2009 (UTC) | |