Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Why?:Use search engine marketing?

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Why?:Use search engine marketing?[edit]

Please, pretty please review my article? It started out as a piece of spam, but I think I've whipped it into shape. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 19:49:05, 13 December 2011 (UTC)

You got it chief. --Sir Oliphaunte (განხილვა)  Georgia-flag-on-soccer-ball-vector.jpg 03:55, January 12,

As it turns out, I won't have internet the entire week. The only reason I can say this is because I'm using my phone right now. Needless to say, ill let this review for up for grabs, and if no one takes it before I get internet back, ill do it. --Sir Oliphaunte (განხილვა)  Georgia-flag-on-soccer-ball-vector.jpg 02:29, January 13, 2012 (UTC)

My internet is back. You know what that means. --Sir Oliphaunte (განხილვა)  Georgia-flag-on-soccer-ball-vector.jpg 10:08, January 14, 2012 (UTC)
That you'll wait another week? Pup 11:44 20 Jan '12
Just about. It's being finished today though. --Sir Oliphaunte (განხილვა)  Georgia-flag-on-soccer-ball-vector.jpg 11:42, January 21, 2012 (UTC)
Humour: 3 So right off the bat, there are two problems I've found with your article in regards to humour. One is that many of your sentences are structured strangely and make it difficult to read your article. Your first sentence for example, "Seo Methods do not need to be complicated, actually a lot of individuals over complicate and and devote so much time trying to get about Google which they don't actually consider enough action and begin generating traffic to their web site." This sentence made little sense. It's structured very strangely and makes it difficult to understand your overall point. Your article is saturated with sentences like this and the best I can suggest is to go over each and everyone of them and re-write them so that are flow better and don't force the reader to have re-read every sentence to understand what you are saying. This goes into my second point, which was that I noticed very few jokes or attempts at humour in the article. The brief sentences you do have that are trying to make a joke are overshadowed by the confusing wording of your sentences. I'm also wondering what is the angle with this article. It borderline feels like self-advertisisment for whatever your SEO is called. The way your article is worded, it feels more like something I would see off an advertisement page of someone explaining what their product does. Like this sentence, "Now I have numerous SEO backlinks from highly ranked sites like Facebook, Twitter and Digg which tends to make Google Enjoy the post and commonly I will uncover myself on page two of Google inside the hour just before I have even carried out stage two!" First of all, this didn't make much sense. Secondly, I failed to see any humour value or purpose of this to the article as a whole. It really just looks like self-advertisment at the moment. I can only hope that isn't the case because that means your article will be deleted on the spot, just so you know.

So overall, I would suggest re-writing every paragraph so that your sentences flow better and are more coherent. I know it's a lot of work, but I'm afraid it looks like that's what going to have to be done. But before we continue, let me leave you with some suggestions of how to expand your article.

  • HAVE A BEGINNING: Your article starts very abruptly and doesn't really work the reader into your article. Have a beginning section about the history of SEO or at least start with a sentence like, "Tired of finding articles on the president when you type in 'White House' on your SEO, when you actually just wanted porn links? Well look no further than....blah blah blah." Just make a small paragraph to start your article and explain what you are going to talk about. You can't start with a body paragraph like you did, that's a violation of 2nd grade english class teachings.
  • 'COMPARE YOUR SEO: Have a section that talks about what your SEO can provide that your competitors, like Google and Ask, don't have. A section like that has an immense potential to be very funny and you could compare all the SEOs in a ridiculous manner or something like that.
  • EXPAND YOUR WHY YOU SHOULD BUY FROM MY SEO SECTION: You should expand this section so you can provide a good clincher to the end of your article. Talk about cost, face-time, things like that and then have a final picture at the end, in the center, maybe of your SEO logo with a caption like "Have a great day!" To me, that seems like the best option for your ending. Also, can you really buy from a SEO? I don't really understand that phrase, might want to re-word it a bit.
Concept: 4 It's not a bad concept, but I was completely confused about the manner in which you were trying to execute it. If you had inserted the actual name of your SEO, I would have thought this was an advertising article for yourself, in which case your article would be deleted. I explain that reasoning in the humour section of course. You might want to go over it to keep your article alive.
Prose and formatting: 4 I noticed some spelling errors and grammatical errors, such as the repeat of the word 'and' in the first sentence. Re-read your article when you're done or ask for someone to help you proof-read it so that you can knock all of those errors out. I'll be willing to help you with that if you request it, assuming I'm not too busy. Also, I do have problems with your overall prose and format. Right now, the article is clumpy and all those bold words are slightly annoying and make the article a bit harder to read. The format would also do a lot better if you added some sort of picture as the might divide the sections up a bit give them more space.

Really, your main problem is just you need to expand the article, try to get rid of as many bold words as you can and insert some picture.

Images: 0 So you have no images, hence the 0. Really, even a pic of the google icon would have been fine. It might also help if you gave a name to your Search Engine because then you could make a logo or something for it as an image. Another idea might be a picture of some smiling people at a computer with a caption like, "Happy users who haven't used my Search Engine." That's crap, but hopefully you get the idea I'm going for. That's about all I can think, expand the article a bit and more ideas are sure to come up.
Miscellaneous: 4 All in all, I was a little disappointed from what I saw in your article. It is clearly unfinished simply by the fact it has no images and upon reading it, felt like you were trying to advertise your SEO more than you were trying to write a humorous article. From reading it, I think your best option is to restart from the beginning and re-write the entire thing because as it looks at the moment, its pretty jumbled up. This article is definitely going to need a lot more work and a lot of your time. Good luck.
Final Score: 15 So sorry about how long this took, been slacking a bit with review lately. Anyways, this is a pretty short article so I couldn't really think of much to say other than what is in the humour section. Hope my review was able to help you in some way or another, feel free to leave a message on my talkpage if you have any questions or so. Cheers!
Reviewer: --Sir Oliphaunte (განხილვა)  Georgia-flag-on-soccer-ball-vector.jpg 13:46, January 22, 2012 (UTC)