Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Why?:Get Drunk (resubmit)
Why?:Get Drunk[edit source]
I want a second, much more in-depth opinion. Thanks ~Fag x FS
| Why?:Get Drunk (resubmit) is being reviewed by Your Source for Fine Scented Pee And Whatever Else Comes Out Of Him |
Uh, okay? I guess I'll take a look! • <-> (Dec 20 / 19:15)
| Humour: | 5.2 | Avg of each section? Sure.
I skimmed the titles of your sections and then saw your introduction. You should not break the fourth wall with this one, I don't think. One thing about a lot of articles is that you really shouldn't mention Uncyclopedia in them. It makes the whole experience kinda awkward. I'm thinking of your section 4 down there... As far as an introduction goes, it's kinda short.
Hmmm, so the person writing this article is drunk? I knew I saw that roadrunner somewhere before! You were planning on using it in Wacky weren't you? It's too random. I think most readers want structure in their articles. Try not to spring crazy traps on them without warning. Warn them, then spring the crazy trap.
Oh wait, so it's actually written by the RoadRunner? That's kinda off-the-wall, Fag, and I don't exactly "get" it...?
Oh, Fag, this is becoming way too random! I can't really follow what's going on. It's not you, it's the article.
Go with that gag on Bush... I'll explain more in concept... |
| Concept: | 5 | Here's the problem Fag... I think... You're writing an article about something funny. That's really hard to do! I just wrote an article on something depressing, and not intrinsically funny. Another interesting idea you had was making Road Runner the narrator... that was really weird, actually and it confused me. What you should do instead of all this bizarreness is write this article way more formal, and have it aimed at important political figures. Sec. 4 of this article is maybe where it should start. You are the winner of the first ever... RANDOM PANDA.
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| Prose and formatting: | 6 | Well, it's short, but you already knew that. You should, like I suggested, restructure the article as a letter aimed at important people asking them to get drunk. |
| Images: | 4 | I really didn't understand the roadrunner reference. |
| Miscellaneous: | 5.1 | {{Pee|5.2|5|6|4}}
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| Final Score: | 25.3 | You should probably make this a more serious article to contrast with the topic. I hope I helped and was not discouraging, Fag! |
| Reviewer: | • <-> (Dec 20 / 20:10) | |