Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/West Timor
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West Timor[edit source]
Please criticize constructively. This is my second article on Uncyclopedia.-- 01:22, March 21, 2010 (UTC)
- I wonder why no one reviews my articles. Possibly a secret conspiracy involving cheese, for some odd reason. 01:05, March 25, 2010 (UTC)
Humour: | 4 | Firstly, can I just check something? This is your second article, right? Because that is amazing. Honestly, my second article was so awful I daren't mention it, whereas in contrast this is really very good. So, really take heart in the fact that this is a well written piece that could stay on Uncyclopedia for a long time being absolutely happy.
However, I guess you wish to improve it, so I will help you, with a few hints that might help. Let's go through in order...
Some pointers to help really make this article super: - Don't repeat yourself too much. - Use more than one type of joke (perhaps a random funny acronym, or maybe at one point - completely out of character, just for a sentence - admit that in fact West Timor does suffer from really bad pig infestations, but it's nothing to worry about.) It just helps improve the whole roundedness. And keep writing! |
Concept: | 6 | On to concept: it's quite good. I'm assuming it was "write about a country that is obviously a nightmare dictatorship as though it is the best in the world?" This is fair enough, and you stuck to it, which was good, but you will notice from the humour section that eventually I found the joke wore thin. The trouble with this concept is its rigidity means you can do little to prevent this happening. So perhaps you should make your concept something more like "write about a country that is obviously a nightmare dictatorship as though it is best in the world...except on Tuesdays or in my humble opinion as the great leader or except for Australia or apparently, anyway, that's what some guy down the pub said.
Do you understand what I'm saying? At some point, there has to be something new to make the reader laugh. |
Prose and formatting: | 6 | Here are a few general points of interest:
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Images: | 6 | Images now. Not bad work here...
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Miscellaneous: | 6 | My overall grade of the article. |
Final Score: | 28 | Wow. I hope I have been helpful to you, but also encouraging, as that is my ultimate aim. Keep writing, and Good luck! :) |
Reviewer: | Nameable • mumble? 21:49, March 25, 2010 (UTC) |