Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/User:JackOfSpades/WiP/Invader Zim

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User:JackOfSpades/WiP/Invader Zim

Dance for me slaves! Ahaha! (talk) 02:56, 13 June 2011

You turned an article I sadly reviewed a long time ago into something good? Then this one is mine! *Pounces on Jack* --Sir Oliphaunte (განხილვა)   20:54, June 17, 2011 (UTC)

Hey, this was in progress before that other one. Don't even start to begin to maybe initiate a thought to the contrary. (talk) 23:38, 17 June 2011

My apologies. How dare I assume you performed a miracle equivalent of the birth of Jesus when in actuality, you were already in the process of bringing him back to life. --Sir Oliphaunte (განხილვა)   02:00, June 18, 2011 (UTC)

Humour:	8.5	Pretty clever the way you wrote in the perspective of Zim. You write it in the way Zim would and do a great job channeling the character of GIR. There isn't much I can say in regards to the humour, you did a pretty good job with it. The only two minor problems I have is that it can become a bit of a headache to read the whole article in one sitting as you're constantly changing characters's dialogue, there's so many colors and sentences crunched together in a paragraph, etc. and also that this article will only be funny to those who have seen the show, although there is nothing you can do in regards to that last issue. I would try to make the article a little bit more of an easier read, although in all honesty, I'm not sure how to do that with this one. I also might be nitpicking, so if you find my suggestion unnecessary and too much, ignore it. Aside from those two issues, a very good job. I couldn't have asked for a better written article to portray the characters so well.
Concept:	9	I gave you 8 because the concept is good and an extra point because of how you wrote it so much better than I had expected. The only problem I see with this article is that you have had to watch at least a couple episodes of Invader Zim in order to understand the jokes in the article, but there's nothing you can really do about that, so... Aside from that good job on the article.
Prose and formatting:	7	You did a pretty good job in writing in a style like Zim would, in my opinion at least. I don't believe I saw any spelling errors, but that might be because the closeness of the sentences, the numerous colors and constantly changing dialogue gave me a slight headache, but that's just me. I'd re-read it just to make sure I didn't miss anything and that the spelling is all taken care of. Format was everywhere and I wasn't sure if that was on purpose to create a more Invader Zim look, or because that's just how it turned out. It gets a little bit mind-numbbing at the end when that kid hacks into the system and you have so many different words going on or so, but maybe that's just me being picky, dunno. The GIR format was genius though, I'll give you that, truly read like GIR was typing all of that. Good job.
Images:	7	So, the critique I had to make was the first two images seem a little out of place, in that they come in little earlier than they seem like they should. I feel like the first image should be of earth with a caption like, "Zim's secret mission and worst nightmare," or something like that and have that giant picture of Zim come in later. I also feel like that first picture of GIR should be of him next to Zim instead of watching TV, and have a caption like, "Can I play? Can I play? Oh pleeeease can I play?" Or something annoying like that so that the reader will get an idea of his character early on. All the other pictures are great, the captions are good, so I don't see a need to go through them one by one. That last picture of Zim at the end is especially good though, caption is genius and I didn't see that coming. Good job with that one. The one thing i would suggest is to include a picture of that kid always trying to uncover Zim, maybe at his computer, so that the reader can identify with him. Then again, this isn't a classical novel, so character connection isn't necessary. I'll let you decide.
Miscellaneous:	8	Because it's you Jack, because it's you...Also, you did a very good job on this article compared to how I had it in my mind. Seems only fair.
Final Score:	39.5	Questions. Comments. Talk-page. Yea. Peace.
Reviewer:	--Sir Oliphaunte (განხილვა)   17:49, June 18, 2011 (UTC)