Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/User:God/Islamic llamas wearing hats
User:God/Islamic llamas wearing hats[edit source]
God, Creator of everything. (Pray to me) 03:01, 15 November 2013 (UTC)
- At times you read an article by a new writer and you say to yourself "This guy can write comedy. I have never laughed so hard in my life as I did while reading this." You then send the link of the article to everyone you know, and even some you don't. You record a spoken word version of it so you can hear it being read to you every night before you go to sleep. You print copies out of it and staple them to the walls of the local public toilets. You look deeper into the writing to uncover the hidden layers of humour, and discover that there is a secret message explaining that you should kill your little sister. And then next thing you know you're screaming at the guys in the white suits that they would understand too if they only read the article.
- And other times you come across an article that has been written by someone who hasn't read HTBFANJS. Nominally Humane! 08:56 22 Jan
- See what I can do here - afraid this won't be a very positive review but well, what can you do. I also have very little reviewing experience so I may need to be taken with a grain of salt. – Llwy-ar-lawr (talk • contribs • logs) 23:16, 8 Apr 2014
| Humour: | 5 | I like Puppy's comment, but unfortunately it's not very helpful. That said I'm kind of at a loss as to how to improve on it.
I've given you a 5 rather than something worse because I think the concept you've chosen is putting you at a disadvantage. Even so though - you seem to have mostly just put together some random statements, dates and places, and it isn't working. This is probably because of the thing I said under 'Concept', that it's hard to find real facts to parody. The thing you need real facts for is so that you can say one thing and the reader will know enough about the subject to realise that it's not true, and if you get the right combination of untruth - sometimes by telling an implausible story - you can make it funny. Or you can state or combine facts so that they seem funny. But when you don't have facts to work with, or anything that sounds like facts, it doesn't work. Something like that, I think. |
| Concept: | 2 | The concept is, if you'll excuse me, just plain random. It's not a real thing, and while there's nothing wrong with that, it means that it's harder to find real facts about it to parody, and by consequence hard to write a funny article about it. And it looks like it was hard for you. |
| Prose and formatting: | 7 | Not too bad, but there are some glitches here and there. The second sentence, for example (They usually eat or decapitate humans, cool hats .) I can't understand. What is 'cool hats' associated with? |
| Images: | 5 | Images show the subject pretty well, but as I've said, the subject isn't so hot. The captions also aren't funny. Saying that these llamas get mad when you take their hat...just doesn't. |
| Miscellaneous: | 4.8 | Averaged. |
| Final Score: | 23.8 | I can see that you've tried, and I hate to tell you this but I think you may have to pick a different topic. I'm sorry. |
| Reviewer: | – Llwy-ar-lawr (talk • contribs • logs) 23:16, 8 Apr 2014 | |