User:God/Islamic llamas wearing hats

“OH GOD NOOOO!”

~ Guy on being killed by an Islamic Llama wearing a hat.

An agitated Islamic Llama, angry because the photographer took it's hat.

Islamic llamas wearing hats are an Islamic species of llama that wear cool hats fedoras. They usually eat or decapitate humans, cool hats . Nobody has ever survived an attack from an angry Islamic hat-wearing llama.

A typical hat-wearing llama.

Habitat

Islamic llamas are commonly found throughout Islam, but are also sometimes seen around Europe. They used to be found across North America, but were all killed by 1994 by hunters and fedora haters.

Approaching

Before you attempt to approach one of these majestic creatures, read this article, unless you enjoy slow, painful deaths. Although they may seem fake, llamas wearing hats are very real, and very dangerous. Islamic llamas that wear hats are generally neutral creatures, although when they are agitated, they will quickly kill and anyone in sight. They become agitated whenever someone attempts to take or insult their hat. There is no documented accounts of these llamas, because everyone insults their stupid hats. (don't tell them I said that). Though it may seem like a good idea, never ever go near an angry Islamic llama wearing a hat. It's safer to hug a Grue Template:Citation/core

First Sighting

Islamic llamas wearing hats were first found in 1926. The llama attack was in Paris, when a llama had wandered into the city, and the llama killed a politician. It is believed that the politician attempted to take the hat off the llama, unsure why the animal was wearing it. The llama swiftly decapitated the man, and began wandering back in the direction it came from.

How to survive

If you've decided to read this, and you want to agitate one of these llamas, and you're either stupid, or really stupid. If you wish to survive an attack from an Islamic llama, then follow one of these instructions:

Ask God

Maybe God is being nice today. Maybe if you ask him, he might be helpful and destroy the llama with lightning. ...or maybe he might be an asshole, and send a Grue after you aswell.

Use a Time Machine.

Go back in time and convince yourself not to do it. Simple as that. Although, this method can cause paradoxes, and will either kill you, or make more angry llamas.

Run.

Just run. You can't beat it in a fight, so just run. Keep running. Run for the rest of your life.

If you survive, enjoy living your life, knowing you survived an Islamic llama wearing a stupid fedora.