Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/UnScripts:Waiting For Breivik 2: The Breifist
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UnScripts:Waiting For Breivik 2: The Breifist[edit source]
Something wierd this way comes.
Sir Ptok-BentonicznyPisz tutaj • KUN 22:38, August 23, 2012 (UTC)
| Humour: | 8 | Another good job, timed with the sentencing of the great Anders Breivik I can only assume. I particularly liked the way you portrayed his "cell", and that his warden was actually a butler who doesn't mind if he brutally murders a lumberjack, or the fact that he has access to deadly weapons and such (wait, why isn't he trying to break out, then?). The whole mirror image idea worked to, particularly in the opening dialogues where the image states that talking to the mirror in itself was crazy. (I personally do agree that Anders wasn't insane, though the deed very well was). And WHY would he not want to kill the Jews! They murdered Jesus!
My criticism, if you can call it that, would be its lack of a resemblance with Waiting for Godot, unlike the original. This is clearly one of those "more action, completely different concept" Hollywood sequels we're so used to. But that's not a completely bad thing either, especially given the fact that in the context of Breivik's recent sentencing, going back to your original concept may have been a bit redundant. So, very good work overall once again, even though the humor is a bit more straightforward this time around. |
| Concept: | 8 | A rather predictable parody of Anders' current situation, but well executed. The dialogue with the mirror image, the hunger games flashback, all in all make for a funny and entertaining parody of what might just be the most devastating act of lone-wolf terrorism in recent history. Although, going by what I know, Anders' act seems to be both politically and religiously motivated, so try exploring that angle a bit more, maybe reveal that he's been receiving communications from a heavenly angel or something. While we're onto flashbacks, maybe you'd want to probe further into Anders' past, and how he prepared for his attack, though that's completely up to you. The script is hilarious the way it is. |
| Prose and formatting: | 9 | Excellent formatting and presentation all around, looks like a proper script. I think you might need to go over some spellings once again, but other than that, this is a neat, proper-looking UnScript. |
| Images: | 8 | Lovely job with the images, and for once I think the straightforwardness was a significant improvement over the original. The Breifist .gif is an excellent addition too, although some of our userbase might jump to unsavory conclusions regarding your....tribute. |
| Miscellaneous: | 8.2 | Massacres in GTA are fun....really fun. |
| Final Score: | 41.2 | A good job once again, and an entertaining sequel, but like most sequels, your article probably doesn't match the standards of its predecessor for some abstract, ineffable reasons. But then again, you wrote it with a different approach in mind, and did an excellent job in execution, so a very good effort overall once again. |
| Reviewer: | --Lord Scofield Stark 13:51, August 28, 2012 (UTC) | |