Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/UnNews: Alien Fish Found Near Cuba
UnNews: Alien Fish Found Near Cuba[edit source]
Alien Hunter 06:29, 6 June 2008 (UTC)
- Only pixes available are on the encl. link, and I do NOT know how to "Upload" any pixes w/o any problems at all. Alien Hunter 06:33, 6 June 2008 (UTC)
| Humour: | 2 | Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris gags were funny for about a month back in 2005. Get over it! Ditto grues! Al Gore is at least tangentally relevant, since he's an environmentalist and fish live in the environment. And "Global Whining" was sort of funny. Also, I'm no prude, but I also don't find repeated mentions of sex organs funny. If you're ten, the word penis might make you giggle; as an adult, you have to say something funny about a penis to get a laugh, and no, Chuck Norris' penis having super-powers does not count. |
| Concept: | 5 | It's an interesting idea, to try to base an article on the photo of an ugly looking fish. But basically, you barely made it through the intro before you ran out of funny.
Here's my suggestion - find a whole bunch of photos of horrible looking animals. Take some time and make a longer article about "Ugly Animals of the World", or "People for the Ethical Treatment of Aberrations" or something. You could even include Al Gore, if you like - the article could be written with "him" as the narrator. Just a suggestion. And if you follow it, please, for the love of God, no Chuck Norris gags. |
| Prose and formatting: | 4 | "The alien is the size of a ball point ink pen, is really hideous to behold without optical aids, or the person who is beholding the alien will get the shits, lose their penis, testicles/vagina and breasts, clitoris, have servere cramps, vomit all over the place, really fart incessantly, and will lose their hair, masculinity, even morph into a facsimile of Al Gore, who would then claim that the alien is a mutated product of "Global Warming", when in FACT that Al Gore is the cause of Global Warming, since Global Whining releases extremely hot air."
Dude, this should not be one sentence. This should be three or four sentences. Minimum. What else... odd capitalisation; seagull only begins with a capital at the begining of a sentence. Also watch out for redundancy - a ballpoint ink pen? What other sorts of ballpoint pens are there? And "Allegedly, according to the US etc" is strange. I'd go with "According to the US" or "The US alleges" |
| Images: | 3 | Uploaded the file for you, though frankly there are better pictures of this beastie elsewhere. Gave low mark because it really needs a caption to make it funny.
To upload a picture: first, find the picture you want on the net. Then right click on it. Select save to file. Remember where you saved it to, this will be important later. Then (making sure you're logged in) click on "upload image/file" in the sidebar. Follow the instructions there, and you should be okay. |
| Miscellaneous: | 3.5 | Averaged |
| Final Score: | 17.5 | I am particularly annoyed. I have barely even finished reviewing this, and I see from recent chages that you have already put it up on VFH. You are really not supposed to nominate your own articles until they have been reviewed. Please do not do this again. This is as much for your benefit as anyone else's. |
| Reviewer: | --Cap'n Sir Ben GUN WotM VFH VFP 07:37, 6 June 2008 (UTC) | |
Um. I recommended that A.H. write an article on the fish after he posted it on the Village Dump...I will try to help him get some other images and change the article around so it is perhaps not so meme-packed. ----OEJ 13:24, 6 June 2008 (UTC)