Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/UnNews:Manhattan teen on suicide watch

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UnNews:Manhattan teen on suicide watch

UnNews:Manhattan teen on suicide watch is being reviewed by CajekHi! Your Source for Fine Scented Pee And Whatever Else Comes Out Of Him

Humour:	4	avg of each paragraph P1 [4] Well, that introduction was random. Where's Manhattan? Where's the suicide watch? What's with all the fart-jokes? Come on, Andorin, you can do better than fart jokes. P2 [5] Slightly better, but it is still just two things: fart jokes and Canada-making-fun-of. Now, I hate canadians as much as anyone, but this article has MANHATTAN in the title. I want to hate New York! P3 [4] Hmmm, this is annoying now. Fart jokes can be funny under very rare conditions, but here it doesn't work. I haven't really seen anything about suicide or Manhattan yet. I hope I'm not being too harsh or anything... P4 [3] Weak ending. You bring in the title of the article here? It makes me think "Why did he choose new york? It could've been any place!" Which makes me think that the article is random, but trying to hide it.
Concept:	4	I'm gonna consciously give the concept score the same grade as the humor score here. This article has a few things wrong with it that I will provide in list form: Fart jokes... I'm not in middle school (even though I act like it). Give me something interesting to read. Location... This is an article about Canadian cuisine that I didn't really understand, and yet the title suggests that there will be a suicide in New York. Where is it? The last paragraph. I wanted to see something about suicide and NYC in this article. Instead, I didn't.
Prose and formatting:	6	The formatting is okay, but the article itself is very short, which is a problem.
Images:	5	Only one picture? Well, when I saw it and looked at the title again, I thought it was referring to suicide. As in, "Is this how you commit suicide?" Well, anyways, I guess it wasn't.
Miscellaneous:	4.8	Average of your other scores
Final Score:	23.8	Not a whole lot to say about this article that I haven't said above. The errors are not shallow ones, they penetrate deeply into the article. You will have to restructure this article keeping in mind what the title of it is. Luckily, the article is short, so it won't be that difficult. Keep on truckin' Andorin, hope you don't think I was too mean or anything!
Reviewer:	Le Cejak • <-> (Dec 5 @ 14:35)