Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/The Typing Impaired Teenager (quick)
The typing impaired teenager[edit source]
ConfusedSoul 18:22, 1 March 2009 (UTC)
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Tagstit doesn't believe in new fancy-pancy toilet systems with running water and all. Just a hole in the ground with a lil' cover will do. Now gimme' your article and I'll be done in a few minutes.
While you are welcome to review this, I suggest you find another article in need of help so that we can clear the ever growing Pee Request list. |
| Humour: | 5 | Alright, I am going to take a guess and say this is your first article. I may be very wrong and if so I am sorry. There are many good things here and many bad things here. Most of your good things come in the style, and some of the bad things come in the concept and format. The humor comes to be the result of the concept and writing style, I find in many articles, like this one. Anyways, I will start with the good.
Many new writers, are write in a horrible style. They pick an overused jokes, such as asian people, Chuck Norris, or Hannah Montanna, and just say them again and again and again. They LOVE repetition. What they love even more though is randomness. They could be writing an article about kites, and by the end make references to every single race, sex, and famous person imaginable. This is a HORRIBLE writing style. I am very happy to see that you not only avoided this, but kept to your topic firmly. But I would be fooling you if I said this was all good. Although this mostly fails is in the concept and format, there are problems enrooted in the humor itself as well. Most of your jokes are very weak, and do not provide many laughs. You need to work on your jokes a bit and make them come off as funnier and not as forced. By this I mean only use jokes when they come up. Don't go out of your way to poke fun at a certain aspect. This might make more sense if you read the concept. But for example, "READ A DAMNED BOOK ONCE IN A WHILE" is very forced, and therefore, note very funny. It might even be funnier if you didn't all caps it. |
| Concept: | 4 | Well, not the most creative thing. The evergrowing teenage texting, instant messaging, and emailing scene is a very big topic that parents, news channels, and even the kids themselves often discuss. The fact that today's children usually text their girlfriend "I love you" instead of say it themselves, or have fights through AIM instead of face-to-face is very humorous, but very overused.
By this, I mean there are MANY articles that make fun of this. Not even just articles, but it is in the news, in the papers, and in the conversations of many modern day Americans, even in Europe. I don't mean to shoot down your ideas and call them uncreative though. I just think that it is important to maintain originality in order for an article to have a good concept. Try thinking of things that are new, and unwritten about. Not only will you find more to write on, but it will show you think outside the cliche jokes. This will in the end, help you. |
| Prose and formatting: | 4 | A bit weak here too. A good thing though, is that I found only a few misspellings and gramatical errors, and in the main paragraph in the beginning your writing style is solid. Your problems come in two major messups. First of all, your entire article is a list. Not literally, but there are four lists here.
Lists are VERY ugly. They are long, and thin, creating lots of whitespace. Some think that lists are funny. Let me drill this in. LISTS ARE NOT FUNNY. Not in any way shape or form. They are ugly and stupid. DO NOT USE THEM...EVER. Please delete ALL lists as quick as you can, and then burn them. The second problem, is that this is incredibly short. You probably already knew this, but you really need to add more content here. Expand ideas and flesh this out. It will make this article more professional, as well as funnier. |
| Images: | 0 | There are none. Add some to improve the appeal and look of your article, as well as to help tell the story. All good articles have at least tree or four. |
| Miscellaneous: | 3 | Averaged |
| Final Score: | 16 | Nice attempt. Creativity and better formatting definitely should be added. Feel free to ask me anything on my talk page if you have any questions. Good luck! |
| Reviewer: | ~SirTagstit • VFH • NotM • PEEING • CPT • RotM • BFF 18:26, 2 March 2009 (UTC) | |