Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Tallinn 2020 Summer Olympics Bid
Tallinn 2020 Summer Olympics Bid[edit source]
Ok, this article was written a while ago by User:Gert5 and even had its own Pee Review. Unfortunately, he never took any of the review's advice and there the article sat, unedited. I found it, dusted it off, and threw a new suit on it. Now its time for another review. In depth is a must. -- You know what the music means... Our time is up. 19:38, 21 April 2009 (UTC)
| Humour: | 6 | Highlights:
There are plenty of other jokes that fall down on the execution. Nigerian scams financing the olympics could be hilarious, if not for the way that section was written. The idea of SAD being an olympic event is funny, but the execution is pretty poor. I think what this article really needs is a bit more "everything's fine"-style misdirection. See the Concept section below for more on this. |
| Concept: | 7 | Former Soviet city throws its hat in the ring to host the largest sporting event in the world and fails miserably at every step! Yes, this is good. But there are some issues with the execution. The key to this article's success is a blustery, irrepressible confidence that everything will be fine, even in the face of apparent hopelessness. This is well executed in the first section, but it sort of tapers off as the article goes on.
The CEO should a) assert that Tallinn is ready, b) assert that Tallinn will ready, and c) believe with certainty that Tallinn is or will be ready. You let the CEO admit too much about the unpreparedness of Tallinn. This can be achieved with photographs that deomstrate Tallinn's obvious unpreparedness, while the text maintains that every facility is world class. For example, pictures of desolate empty lots accompanied by texts promising an incredible venue. This article can probably be about a section shorter: one of the three final sections could easily be sacrificed to make this a tighter, more concise article. |
| Prose and formatting: | 7 | Formatting looks quite beautiful, I'm a fan of the quotation mark style around the paragraphs. A few red links and questionable sentences, but nothing that can't be fixed with a good old proofread. Some advice about the tone: broken Eastern European English might make it more obvious that Tallinn is a crappy craphole. |
| Images: | 7 | Good start, but needs more crappyness. Tin cans are a very effective image, but the beautiful coastline and really rather nice looking football stadium are waaay too good for Tallinn. More desolate lots and tumble-down soviet apartment blocks, please. |
| Miscellaneous: | 4 | Just doesn't quite pull together for me. |
| Final Score: | 31 | Such an amazing base to work with, but needs to be more focused. Remember: in the text, Tallinn is great; in the pictures, Tallinn is a crap shack. The mixed messages need to be split in order for them to be effective, otherwise they just make for an average article that doesn't commit either way. |
| Reviewer: | IronLung 04:26, 11 May 2009 (UTC) | |