Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Super Smash Bros Brawl
Super Smash Bros Brawl[edit source]
This was a really bad article before I decided to fix it up. In fact, this the first a rticle that I first did some proper work with. So now I just need to see how well I've done. Bear in mind this article has had some bad edits added to it sometimes, so do not put everything down s my fault.--Garionepsilon 09:41, 18 January 2008 (UTC)
| Humour: | 6 | Firstly, I, as a Pee Reviewer, am obliged to disapprove of lists. And OMFG!1!1!1!1! like 75% of the article is list. Fair enough with Smash Bros yew need to tell the reader of the characters - maybe yew could make a table of it instead? it would save so much space. Also, get rid of loads of the people in that list and keep only the very best/funniest. With regards to the second EPIC LIST, I'd get rid of it entirely and talk about just some of the weapons elsewhere in the article. Riight, now that's out of the way...
There are some good laughs in there (maybe it's 'cos I totally love that game... it gets me all nostalgic) but of course there's some really bad as well. Quotes: Get rid of two of them. Or get rid of three and keep the Oscar Wilde one. If two, keep the fireball one. 'Cos I despise Russian Reversal, and, again, as a Pee Reviewer, am obliged to disapprove of Uncyc clichés. Intro:: it's mostly about promoting the game... we need some jokes and satire in there. Take the piss; what's the weak points of the game? Stick a couple in there. Early development: This doesn't really seem to be anything to do with the early development of the game. Get rid of this and spread some of the information to applicable sections. If it has no applicable sections, get rid of it, unless yew find it funny. ... ... ... Oh look! A grue! Right, before yew go anywhere else, go through ywr whole article, and totally get rid of any Uncyclopedia clichés yew see. So that's Grues, Oscar Wilde (excluding the quote), Chuck Norris and Kitten Huffing, and refrain from putting them on again or any other similar Un-Memes (but keep Mudkip, I think his inclusion suits the article). Confirmed characters: It feels too factual. And kinda biased towards the game. Then comes the list etc. :P Read concept for continuation of this... |
| Concept: | 6 | From then on I reckon I can sum it up. What yew need to do with the article is satirise the game, not to say how flawless it is etc. Noone reads it to see how great it is ;) |
| Prose and formatting: | 7.5 | Other than the EPIC listage, it goes together fine. Just pay attention to ther other sections, oh, and if yew want, put some eloquent language in there, or maybe some spoof Japanese game announcer-style stuff :P |
| Images: | 4 | Only one picture (with a funny caption) which is NOT enough for an article of this length. Yew need pictures EVERYWHERE as befits the colourfulness of the game :) |
| Miscellaneous: | 5.9 | Averaged using template:Pee also, please put the Nintendo template at the top ^^ |
| Final Score: | 29.4 | Definitely needs some improvement, and I've been generous with the score. It has potential. It just needs some EPIC (that word again?) bettering. :P |
| Reviewer: | ~Fag x FS 08:59, 24 January 2008 (UTC) | |