Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Parrots Hilton
Parrots Hilton[edit source]
Evilcoffee 07:42, October 18, 2009 (UTC)
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This raptor is guarding this article while his master, Iwillkillyou333 is reviewing it. Be Careful! He Bites. |
| Humour: | 3 | Well theirs not much to talk about but I'll do my best.
First the main problem is that the article is way too short. Something like this would be probaly put up on QVFD. This seems to be your first time so its understandable. You need to expand it. Make it more worhty to read. I splitted the section so I can review on at a time First Section: The first paragraph is fine, as it explains your article, but its short. The second paragraph was more of a bash on Paris and is base on your opinion. But other people might have a different opinion and is best to keep your opinions to yourself or on the discussion page. You can say something like "Critics say her name is to similar to Paris Hilton, but the difference is by height, feathers, and beak. And that last sentence, the one with the seeds, was just random and stupid and should be deleted. Biography: Not any humor im afraid, you need to work on it. much of this is just random. since your doing a bird parody of Paris Hilton, you should paroridize (i dont know if thats a word) her life instead of making up one. Discography: The stuff in the Discography section is very random. Since she just release one album you have two options, remove this section or parodize songs sang by her like Stars Are Blind say Sprearrows Are Blind. 'See Also Keep the Paris Hilton and birds and remmove the rest. There just so random. Also paris did many othe things like perfume, movies, modeling (i think) sex tape, tv shows and all that. paroidize that instead of just music |
| Concept: | 1 | Your concept is weak it needs more work |
| Prose and formatting: | 10 | No spelling errors, which is good, but in the Discography the First leeters of words should be capalize |
| Images: | 3 | One, even though it supports your article I juyst dont see the humor in it, so remove it and plae it with something like a parrot's head on Paris' body. maybe you can ask someone here in uncyclopedia who is good at making photoshop images, we got plenty of them. |
| Miscellaneous: | 5 | average |
| Final Score: | 22 | Just work on it some more and read the HTBFANJS. Good luck |
| Reviewer: | ---   23:19, October 19, 2009 (UTC)
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