Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/HowTo:Make your own LHC
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HowTo:Make your own LHC[edit source]
Per a request from Bp2611 on my talk page. --
20:08, July 4, 2012 (UTC)
| Humour: | 7 | There definitely is funny stuff in this article. However, some parts do seem somewhat random. The yelling at the eiffel tower guy part seemed unnecessary and didn’t add to the humor. Everything from step 3 on also seemed to be sort of random. Why would the author be yelling at einstein? Everything before that was pretty funny. The whole idea of making something so obviously impossible into something simple is funny and maximum funniness would result from expanding on this. Step 1 and 2 were very good and funny as well and if you keep that tone of “Naturally, the particles need to be propelled and there is no better propulsion system than a burning squeaky-voiced midget” you achieve the absurd without making it just plain random. Try to be a little abstract in the humor but don’t stray too far from science. |
| Concept: | 8 | I really like the concept of making something that one clearly cannot make. You definitely make it work but I think that if you added a little more scientific jargon, it would work even better. |
| Prose and formatting: | 6 | Some wording is a little awkward in my opinion but it’s not bad. I think that you should also say what LHC stands for instead of just using the acronym. Stating “Well, maybe not THAT Large” without stating that the L stands for large might be confusing to some. |
| Images: | 7 | I like the Dexter’s Lab image and found it really funny, but as I said before, the einstein part with the pic isn’t really necessary. Perhaps a picture of the actual LHC could be used. |
| Miscellaneous: | 7 | My overall view of the article. |
| Final Score: | 35 | Very nice first article I have to say. With a bit more work, I think it will be fantastic. Good job! :) |
| Reviewer: | 20:08, July 4, 2012 (UTC)
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