Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Hermann Fegelein

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Hermann Fegelein

This one's an article by Teamf1 that I think has some potential on Uncyclopedia. Please review this! -- This has been an automated message by Cute Zekrom (talk) 21:52, May 1, 2012 (UTC)

Perhaps I'll get around to completely ripping this one apart tomorrow but no promises. - Fe⁺³ AlFe⁺² 04:23, May 5, 2012 (UTC)

Okay here goes. - Fe⁺³ AlFe⁺² 04:30, May 6, 2012 (UTC)

Humour:	3	I usually do a point-by-point dissection of each section of an article but this will be lumpier than what I usually do. I would recommenddemand that you read How to be funny and not just stupid. Intro-Really short- this can be good but it should consist of what the article is going to talk about. It is almost entirely nonsense. I would write it to briefly explain the conflict that Fegelein has with Hitler and the rest of the generals and include some other details of his made-up life. Body-This is just too dang random. The entirety of his life in three sentences makes about as much sense as a broken gumball machine. The Parodies section should be kept just because this is a parody about a parody but it needs to be cleaned up. Formula One??- This is just out of left field. He has "died" and come back from the dead in the parodies I've seen so that can stay but it needs to be cleaned up.
Concept:	6	I am a fan of the Hitler-rants parodies and that's satire itself. The story of Fegelein isn't explained in those parodies though so one could theoretically be done. The main problem that I foresee with creating this article is that if one isn't familiar with the Hitler-rants, then they probably won't get most of the jokes made.
Prose and formatting:	4.6	It has many grammatical and sentence structure issues. I'm going to be a dick and just tell you about their existence instead of just fixing what I can.
Images:	2.4	It feels like there are just a bunch of pictures, mostly generic and cliched, pasted here and there for the sake of placing pictures there. Non-edited pictures can be really funny if they are placed correctly and with the right caption to drive home a point or joke being made in the text.
Miscellaneous:	4	I just averaged your scores.
Final Score:	20	This topic does have the potential to be funny, but it must be done right. I'm sorry if I sounded a bit harsh above but unfortunately it's the truth. Truth is like anal- more often than not it hurts... a lot... not that I would know. I look forward to any and all updates to this article.
Reviewer:	Fe+3 AlFe+2