Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/George Harrison
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George Harrison[edit source]
Rolando8 13:57, 10 February 2008 (UTC)
| Humour: | 2 | Humor in this article is weak. It's poorly organized (see prose). I personally think most of this is written in a factual tone, it mentions a lot of facts. In the meantime, there's some lines that are just nonsensial and not funny. One such line was "He also created the Traveling Wilburys, a Bolshevik Band with Bob Dylan, Mama Cass, Roy Orbison, Frank Sinatra, Yoko Ono, Charles Darwin, Bob, Joe and me." I actually think would be a good line, only if it didn't mention Charles Darwin, obviously he didn't exist at the time and that's what makes it nonsensial. The "Bob, Joe and Me" part, while not lol material, made me smile.
This article needs to be completley rewritten. Maybe you could parody his song Taxman (which is mentioned in the) mentioning his career as a taxman. Afterall, Harrison wrote that song. I think if this is taken in a different approach, it could be very funny. That said, you might want to parody more songs. On top of that, you should think of good ideas from yourself. |
| Concept: | 4 | This article has the potential to be good, it just simply isn't there yet. |
| Prose and formatting: | 1 | Poorly organized article. In the middle of the article, it mentions his death and afterwards his career. Obviously, the death should be mentioned at the end. This has several red links, which need removal. This article isn't organized with headers and should have them. I saw a ------------------------------------------------------------------- ----- line, eww, I don't know what it's for. It should probably have a space instead. You should list this article with {{Proofread}} when completed, I saw several errors. |
| Images: | 3 | This article has images, but neither are good. The first one just doesn't fit in with the article - not relevant nor funny. The second one isn't good either - it's not in high resolution, it's black and white. I could not see Pattie Boyd in the picture like the caption said. I noticed you placed this image on Reefer Desk, so I am assuming these problems will be fixed which is why I'm giving you additional points. |
| Miscellaneous: | 2 | Hmm, as you're a n00b, you'd be best of reading articles listed in UN:BEST and reading UN:DUMB as well as UN:BGBU - these would all help you in the process of rewriting. If you have further questions, You Know My Name (Look Up The Number) |
| Final Score: | 12 | Let's recap. Rewrite the article maybe mentioning his article as a taxman, work on the prose, fix the images, and take a look at the links I sent you, and this article will be a big improvement. Good luck |
| Reviewer: | -- 16:01, 16 February 2008 (UTC) | |