Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Gardening
Gardening[edit source]
BlackHarrier32 22:54, 10 September 2008 (UTC)
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Orian57 is currently reviewing your article.
Conversely he is also whoreing: Why?:Am I a Power Ranger? |
| Humour: | 3 | You really haven’t got much here that is going to make people laugh. Mostly down to your concept and P+F. But your opening line ("Gardening is an ancient and time-honored form of short-range agriculture. ") made me chuckle and I think it’s what you should try and do more of. Taking aspects of gardening and making your reader look at them differently or at least portray it in an unusual way. For Articles like this it can be good to adopt that sort of pompous tone from Wikipedia. |
| Concept: | 3 | I’m surprised we didn’t already have and article on Gardening but you need a better concept than what you have here. What you have is completely fictional weirdness. None of which makes any sense. Instead of talking about gardening you talked about some ancient middle-eastern war between gardeners and farmers.
What I’d suggest is maybe you build up a story of two feuding gardeners (preferably elderly ladies). And have act as good friends while they each try and surreptitiously sabotage the other garden. Something like that would probably work. Or if you don’t like “story articles” and prefer to do a more traditional parody at least look at what Wikipedia has and have a completely different take on it, maybe from the Point of View of an extremely cantankerous gardener. You could even have him talking derisively about farming and boasting about how gardening is better. Something that makes it satire rather than outright wrong. |
| Prose and formatting: | 4 | I’d suggest getting rid of those quotes as none of them are funny (an additional note: if you must have quotes never put them in the middle of an article as it’s ugly, just use inverted commas.). And your sections are too short and don’t have enough content to them. Also you really should avoid “txt spk” and the like in articles; it needs to look more formal (unless it not looking more formal is obviously part of the joke).
You also get very listy towards the end which is never a good thing. See UN:LIST. Ordinarily I’d have given a three on these grounds but I’m giving you four due to the fact you appear to have tried to use interesting language (your first line for example) which I think really helps with most articles. |
| Images: | 0 | Every article needs Images. Google your topic and see what comes up that you can work into the article. Use them to fit in one liners and things. Again look at other articles. |
| Miscellaneous: | 2.5 | Averaged score of other fields. [modified due to earlier inability to count] |
| Final Score: | 12.5 | I strongly recommend you read HTBFANJS at least once to get an idea of What we’re looking for around here and UN:BEST for some of our featured material (Today’s featured article is mine incidentally). Or possibly take a look at Illogicopedia and see if your style is better suited over there. If you want to keep this here, I strongly suggest a compleate re-write, with a strong idea behind it.
If you’d like to ask/thank/insult me about anything please visit my talk page. |
| Reviewer: | SK Sir Orian57Talk  RotM 03:47 13 September 2008
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