Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Final Fantasy Football
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Final Fantasy Football[edit source]
Black flamingo11 13:44, November 8, 2009 (UTC)
Goodness me, IPs are attracted to this like eleven year olds to free internet porn. Black Flamingo 12:13, November 17, 2009 (UTC)
| Humour: | 4.5 | First off, the article can use more Final Fantasy. Many times you just put a Final Fantasy name or word in where a totally normal soccer name or word would be. for example you just replace the words "Omega Weapon" with the name of any team owner or coach in the sport, then described fantasy sports with uncreative sarcasm. You need to blend the concepts more thoroughly, creating a game where bizarre and combative JRPG melodrama and anything-goes-supernatural-powers just spill onto the pitch. HTBFANJS, one of Uncyclopedia's "must read" guidelines, discourages lists. A few lists where over half the items listed is clever or funny is cool but you have lots of lists that are mostly filler and mundane stuff. The positions list is really bad. I would suggest having an even mix of character classes and soccer positions and detailing how they interact with increasingly humorous absurdity. Many sections can use improvement and some need reduction. While the idea of WAGs being a game element the list is dreck. Burn the list, develop the WAGS concept. The "History" section is too random, it need a good central idea that you see to the end. I like the concept of the cups representing the element crystals from the 8/16 bit era and developing a personality for the leagues/cups might be a good direction. |
| Concept: | 6.2 | There's a lot of video game articles and they tend to hit a glut of redundancy so it's hard to find a good angle. A vast number of people play a game and their experience is largely uniform in nature, we've had a glut of GTA:insert random location here articles that have headed straight to deletion. I would have marked this a 7, except that it has some overlap with the older and better polished Final Fantasy Football:NFL 07. It could work as a European counterpart to the aforementioned article and I'd suggest some "gentle borrowing" of some of their style and presentation. At the moment concept's kind of shaky. |
| Prose and formatting: | 6 | While prose and spelling are solid the article has a handful of format problems and is badly hampered by bulleted lists, which break up the flow and make the article look like many of the terrible articles which are overflowing with lists (except for the articles which are lists, such as the "Worst 100" collection. Those work sometimes.) The Black Mage image seems out of place and in a section not relevant to it. |
| Images: | 5.5 | The images are stock and standard stuff. No images really depicts "Final Fantasy Football" and two of the images aren't funny or interesting at all. Surely you could choose a more iconic Final Fantasy Character than Balthier. May I suggest hyperactive jocktard and Final Fantasy fan pariah Wakka with a soccer ball photoshopped in? The "typical sports fan" could be a lot more sterotypical to drive the joke home too. |
| Miscellaneous: | 5.6 | No miscellaneous features. Score averaged normally. Sorry about the American terms. |
| Final Score: | 27.8 | This needs improvement in several areas. Lists and filler need replacement with fully thought out details. |
| Reviewer: | --Count of Monkey Crisco 01:03, November 22, 2009 (UTC) | |