Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Final Destination (2nd Review)
Final Destination [edit source]
Frosty, I'm looking at you... EpicAwesomeness (talk) 15:29, July 21, 2011 (UTC)
- I thought that user {{USERNAME}} holy shit. Oh well very well... ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!)
07:42, July 23, 2011 (UTC)
| Humour: | 8.5 | Alright although this is heaps stronger in many aspects to most articles I've reviewed. I have to say the humor could still be improved. I believe it can and will be improved to the high standard that the rest of your article holds. So I'll go through the article now Instead of keeping you in suspense.
Introduction - The first sentence "The Final Destination (or God Doesn't Love You: the Movie) films are a series of three four five horror films about the Grim Reaper" immediately grabbed my attention and told me the tone of your article would be a critique or satire of the subject in a humorous way. Well that was your plan. Simply poking fun at it as you did in the intro is well a tad predictable, if you insist of choosing this style don't simply whine about it. Use something witty! It's not hard. The intro really has the nut and bolts all ready set out but it does need polishing to improve the article in general and grab your readers attention. Production - This section could have used an image in my opinion to help elevate your humor. Images are your friend when trying to be funny. By which I mean a visual representation with a good play on words or witty remark is always beneficial. You have the second requirement already set out for you, an image is what this section needs, it is otherwise perfectly fine. Popularity - This section is gold. It's what the rest of your article needs to aspire to be. This contains some clever wit, intelligent satire and makes fun of its subject in an amusing way. If you could make the rest of your article as good quality as this I see a feature potential out of this one. Further films - This section starts out good but weakens over time. By the end of it I was thinking it was getting too random. I'd suggest going over the last sentence particularly and bring it up to scratch. It's just a bit randomly done in my opinion. I like the rest of the section however and would simply suggest that minor change. Characters - This is a section that needs work. Characters should profile who they are to inform the reader. Not compare the relationships they have and what "critics" think of them. I'd perhaps suggest starting again here. And do a proper profile on the main characters. I put emphasis on main as you don't want to make it too long. A short paragraph for each one. Short and sweet. Themes - Perhaps formatting like the character suggestion I made would be a good move. But maybe not. What I can say is expand this section a bit more than what you have. What you have is funny but mainly needs more content to back it up. Spin-offs - Section is perfect. Don't fuck with it. |
| Concept: | 9 | You concept is very strong. You thoroughly went over this subject in detail wee. WITH THE EXCEPTION of the character profile. Rather than discussing the roles and relationships they have discuss and describe the characters individually and as a person, do not relate to others!
The characters also have a tendency to relate back to the topic as a whole rather than the characters in themselves. I say this "DO BOTH!" its a good balance the would show a better developed concept than what you have. |
| Prose and formatting: | 8.5 | Yes I love the formatting of this article, t is very well done. A thorougher and consistent use of inter wiki links that generally favor the humor of your article (Read humor for more on that). I also likes the "References" as well as they are extremely well formatted and it is funny the way you've used it as well as being well timed.
I do however have a couple of complaints. Aligning all your images to the right isn't always a good thing. I think aligning some on the left generally makes it look more attractive and makes it look like you've really put a ton of effort into it without actually doing so. Also the text to picture ratio is a bit ff. Instead of adjusting the actual quantity of either of them, try altering the image size, (ie increase the area they hold in the article) However a couple of minor blemishes to an otherwise well formatted article. I also suggest a spell check, but that'll take a couple of minutes max. |
| Images: | 8 | Yoy have used a plentiful amount of images in your article. They generally support the subject matter and make use of funny captions and the images themselves are generally funny. However (yes I am going to whine a little) the characters definitely needs some pictures. And in fact as I mentioned need expanding to be more specific about the characters. Pictures of the main characters would be a good positive move for your article. But other than that I loved your use of images rather consistently throughout the article. |
| Miscellaneous: | 8 | Overall rating out of 10 |
| Final Score: | 42 | A really good article. That needs a little tweaking really. It's better than last time as well :D. |
| Reviewer: | ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 
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