Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Disproportional representation
Disproportional representation[edit source]
Oh hi. I wrote this article, and I think it's amazing.
It's probably not. Coronium 18:46, December 28, 2010 (UTC)
- I got this, 24-48 hours--If you're 555 then I'm
03:10, January 3, 2011 (UTC)
| Humour: | 2 | Well, you done better than most noobs in terms of research and formatting. But unfortuantly your article has several problems with it and I'll go through them all throughout the review. Due to my lack of knowledge of the subject, it may be difficult to suggest ways to change it, but I'll do what I can.
This appears to be more of an Wikipedia article than an Uncyclopedia article. I'm glad you've done your research, but you didn't execute that research to a way that would be found humorous. And when I do see you attempting to put humor in there, it tends to be juvenile. Writing something like "population of 3 sheep" and "defecating on the seating" would likely cause readers quickly lose interest. because of my lack of knowledge on the subject, my best suggestion would be going over other people's work, preferably featured work (click "featured content under navigation on the side), and search for something similiar to your article and try to write in that style, without commiting plagiarism. Another problem is that the article is quite short than what is desired. This problem is easy to solve, because all you have to do is add more things. I sugggestion you put in stuff that the reader would like to know. Examples include the following: Who created it? How longs has it been used? Is it effective? Is it used today? Is it used on other planets. There plenty of more ideas, but I'll give you a few to start you off and then you can work your way up. |
| Concept: | 7 | The concept is not a bad idea. There should me more articles about how things are done politicaly and such. The problem with your article is not what the concept is, but how it was executed. Fixing up the article should expand the concept. |
| Prose and formatting: | 9 | I think this is where you done best. You obviously had either good spelling skill or you actually took the time to proofread your article and fixed any mistakes. The only reason that I’m giving you a 9 is because the title of the article “Disproportional representation”, the r should be capitalized. In order to do this, click on the move button and enter the article name with the appropriate grammar. Once you done that, the article with the former name will be a redirect, but since this is not required it’s best to put the former title on QVFD. |
| Images: | 1 | There was one, and I think it's alright, but the caption needs work. The tomatoe part and mispelling part do not contribute to the article and therefore should go.
God know what kind of images would be suitible for this article. It's hard for me to make any suggestions on what images you should use for the article, but I have a few suggestions like images on people who are in the voting process, places where the votes are taken place, leaders who where put into power thanks to this voting system, and a map of countries who do this kind of thing. It's not alot, but enough to get you started. |
| Miscellaneous: | 4.8 | My average grade of this article. Don't feel bad if the score is low; take it as a reason to imporve the article. |
| Final Score: | 23.8 | It's not bad and I think this can be turned to a good article. All it need is a little love Seeing how you made this, I'm sure you will be able to improve. If you have any questions, I'll be happy to reply on my talk page. Good luck! Cheers! |
| Reviewer: | --If you're 555 then I'm  03:55, January 5, 2011 (UTC)
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