Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Disorganised crime
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Disorganised crime[edit source]
I'm quite pleased with this one. -- 15Mickey20 (talk to Mickey) 20:53, 19 August 2009 (UTC)
- Tomorrow morning. InMooseWeTrust 00:40, 20 August 2009 (UTC)
| Humour: | 3 | The idea itself is funny, but it looks like you're trying too hard by adding extra information. Also, should disorganised crime have a hierarchy with a leader, vice-president, and secretaries? Instead of saying these guys are all so organised, talk about them as lowlife hobos who are always high on drugs so they take all kinds of impulsive actions. Your article seems more suited for organised crime. |
| Concept: | 4 | It's a nice concept and there are plenty of ways to use it well. However, this article looks more like organised crime than disorganised crime. |
| Prose and formatting: | 9 | You're a good writer, and you have a somewhat decent writing style. The spelling and grammar mistakes are minimally insignificant. |
| Images: | 6 | The pictures are appropriately placed, but they should be spread out more. For example, have a picture on every other side of the page going down, with a reasonable amount of space between them. Also, some of the picture captions aren't funny. |
| Miscellaneous: | 2 | You don't have any extra content that stands out. Add some "See also" or "Trivia" or whatever section at the bottom of the article. Doing so would let you finish the article in a strong way. You could also do quotes by the criminals (written in l33tspeak). |
| Final Score: | 24 | It would be a better article if it was about disorganised crime and not organised crime. |
| Reviewer: | InMooseWeTrust 12:00, 20 August 2009 (UTC) | |
The article is about organised crime - done badly. They may have managers and filing systems, but they lose files, go to the wrong hideouts and chop the wrong hostages' fingers off. In other words, they're disorganised. -- 15Mickey20 (talk to Mickey) 18:39, 20 August 2009 (UTC)
