Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Cow
Cow[edit source]
I know the queue's a bit mad right now, so please take your time with this --Black_Flamingo 15:46, May 21, 2010 (UTC)
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Fear Not! John Lydon is here to Pee all over you! If he hasn't reviewed it |
| Humour: | 7 | I really like the direction you took this article in. The way you chose to narrate it instead of making it an encyclopedia article adds a lot to this article. That being said, I'll get down to picking the whole thing apart.
First, I think this article could do with a name change. An article titled cows should be about.. Well.... cows. Your article focuses on the day the cows come home. So, The day the cows come home would be a much more appropriate title for this. Now on to the article itself. The first thing that jumped out at me was the word COWPAT. I thought the acronym you came up with was very clever. I think that you should include the acronym somewhere in the first paragraph instead of as a footnote. The reason I say this is because many people don't actually check the footnotes and it's a really clever piece of work. It would be a shame to have it overlooked. Possibly placing it under "A report by COWPAT" or putting it in parenthesis where the footnote marker is would also be good. The next thing I noticed was that in the "A Message From COWPAT's Founder" section, the narrator's name changes three times. It's Barry at first, then it changes to Terry, and then finally his mom calls him Johnny. I'm not sure if this is intentional or not. I can tell you it does more to confuse the reader than anything else. Fortunately this is a very minor and quickly made change. I also didn't get the joke that has the second footnote. "sadly he is otherwise occupied at Her Majesty's pleasure". Maybe it's because I don't speak the Queens English, but I have no idea what this means. I think this joke could be expanded on in the footnote for those of us across the pond. |
| Concept: | 7 | Overall, it's a pretty humorous take on a phrase we all hear everyday. As I stated previously, I really think an article name change is in order here.
I also would have liked to have heard COWPAT's theories on what would happen when the cows actually do come home and how they would come home. Would it be in a spaceship? Maybe a Greyhound bus? There's also one major flaw in your attempt to convince the reader that cow's are actually holograms. What about dairy products? You could expand on where dairy products actually come from if there aren't really any cows here. Finally, I think you could say something about where COWPAT thinks the cows actually went. Maybe some research they've done and conclusions they've come to. The article length is pretty good already, but if you're looking to expand it a little, these would be some good things to touch on. |
| Prose and formatting: | 7 | Not too many issues here. Grammer and spelling seemed to be in order. Nothing jumped out at me spelling wise. The only comment I can make here is that I'm curious as to why Bill's section is all Italicized. I know he's speaking in the first person, but the whole article is written in first person. Also when Meg speaks, it's all bold. That seems to work because I get the impression she's yelling or talking very loudly which works with the whole cows took her brain idea. I would suggest removing the Italics from Bill's section as it sticks out like a sore thumb. |
| Images: | 7 | The images, for the most part, were quite good. I did notice a few things though. The first image, the one with the cows exiting a spaceship into a corn field, I noticed that there appears to be some bleed through of some words.I'm not sure if you found this somewhere or chopped it yourself, but if you did chop it, you may want to cover the area to the right of the spaceship. I know it's minor, and the image still works as is, but I thought I would point it out because that's what these reviews are for.
The only real knock I can make on the images is image #3. Here we have a picture of a cow with the caption, "This is not a cow." That really doesn't work for me. The image is good but the caption is not. I understand the whole idea you're trying to convey about cows being holograms and I think changing the caption to something along the lines of, "Holographic cows are often mistaken for reality" or something like that would fit much better here. |
| Miscellaneous: | 7 | Average score |
| Final Score: | 35 | This article is very well done. I really want to stress to you considering an article name change however as I feel the article has very little to do with actual cows and focus soley on the days the cows come home. |
| Reviewer: | --—John Lydon 14:08, June 7, 2010 (UTC) | |