Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Class of 3000

Main

Current

Reviewed

Archive

Guidelines

FAQ

Committee

RotM

Class of 3000

This is my second time putting this article through Pee Review. Basically, what I'm looking for is advice. I feel it does need improvement, but I'm not exactly sure where to start.

Before you read, I want you to keep these things in mind that I cannot stress enough:

• It is not "cruft". To be honest, I made this article to make fun of the show. But then, I don't know what the proper definition of cruft is, so whatever.
• Don't be harsh. Be fair about it. You're not aiming to destroy a person's work, just help them with it. But you should know this already.
• I am aware that it's not funny, if not half-funny. Like I said, I wrote this one up on a whim and because I hate the show (and to make fun of it).
• Advice. Again. I'd really appreciate it. After all, I want to help this article get better.

Thank you much for your attention and time in advance, and I look forward to working with you on aiding it. -- Hanyouman 13:11, 5 November 2007 (UTC)

Hi Hanyouman. It takes a lot of guts to come with your baby to pee review. Thank you for trying. Okay, let's get started --  Le Cejak • <-> 13:55, 5 November 2007 (UTC)

Humour:	3.3	Take a look at an article I did, Kim Possible that's about a show nobody watches that did OK on pee review. Avg of all the following: Intro (4) You're lucky I've seen the show and kinda know what you're talking about. However, I lowered the score because 99% of the people here won't get it. I also lowered your score due to randomness ("Laffy Taffy joke writer"? "black/peanut butter uprising of 2012"?) 1 Plot (6) More randomness? Jesus! ("Soggy Barges is a man who likes flan"?? "or "hop-hip" as he somehow calls it"??) Also, the formatting is getting in the way of the jokes. "So he says" is not unfunny, it's a terrible way to start a sentence. Please get rid of all the "so"'s. 2 Characters (4) Ugh, it's an ungodly list! It's not that bad a list (compared with the songs section), but still: you don't have to mention every single character. In fact: DON'T mention every single character. This, too, has random crap in it. 3 Songs (1) This is a simply a list. Get rid of it. 4 Episodes (4) You are obviously parodying each episode in a list. I want you to link the title of each of those episodes to whatever the real name is on Wikipedia using this: [[Wikipedia:blah|blah]] 5 See Also (1) You don't need this. Also, I took points off because there's no real ending to this article.
Concept:	4	Concepts based around TV shows are very, very tricky. It's almost a gaurantee that nobody watches whatever TV show you think about writing about, unless it's something really popular.
Prose and formatting:	5	Lots of weird sentences and hanging paragraphs. Try to smoosh as many paragraphs in to a section as you can.
Images:	5	Only three images, and I hated the one that's left aligned. The other two are barely acceptable, but... where's the parody?
Miscellaneous:	4.3	avg of all your other scores.
Final Score:	21.6	*Lots of randomness, get rid of it. The test for randomness is: "when I look at the title, can I somehow get this sentence out of it?" There's no "ending" to this article. How would I end it? Hmmmm... see my next bullet Really, take a look at Kim Possible. Look at those extra sections called "actors" and "awards". I use this article whenever someone sits down and writes an article about a show that people don't really watch. Those extra sections should give you a clue about how to structure this article. Get rid of every "so" you see and restructure the sentences. Get rid of nearly every list you have. I believe I told you which ones are terrible. Put lists together as paragraphs, or try to. I hope I helped, man!
Reviewer:	Le Cejak • <-> 14:12, 5 November 2007 (UTC)