Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Chicken Soup for the Chicken's Sou
This is the article: Chicken Soup for the Chicken's Soul. Note that the content is mainly finished, only needs some proofreading, pictures and proper formatting.
DAMMIT theres a typo in the heading. Not sure if I can change it. Also, I forgot to put Unbooks: in front of the Chicken Soup title when creating the page. SHould I create a new page with the words UnBooks in front?
Yongen 92 03:29, 29 December 2007 (UTC)
- I think someone fixed it for you. It looks all nice and proper now. ----OEJ 01:12, 31 December 2007 (UTC)
Chicken Soup for the Chicken's Soul[edit source]
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A big mug o' reviewin' strength tea? Why, that must mean this article is being reviewed by: UU - natter  (While you're welcome to review it as well, you might like to consider helping someone else instead). (Also, if the review hasn't been finished within 24 hours of this tag appearing, feel free to remove it or clout UU athwart the ear'ole). |
What the hell, it's been here aaaages. I'll take a look. However, as there's a possibility of various things landing on my desk shortly, this could end up taking several goes to finish reviewing, so be patient a little longer! --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 15:06, Feb 21
| Humour: | 7 | Not bad at all. Definitely too long though. Lose the unfunny stuff, tighten up the better bits, and you'll have a leaner, meaner, funnier article. Quality control, my friend! |
| Concept: | 8 | Yeah, I like this, it has that 'you can almost see this happening in a slightly more surreal version of this world' quality. Although you do adhere too closely to the book concept with the recipes and such. |
| Prose and formatting: | 6 | In the main, it's good. It's written in about the right style, and formatting and so forth is fine. So why the low-ish score here? Simple - it's too long. Waaaayyyyy too long. Lose the recipe section for starters, it's unfunny and dull. That shaves off a decent amount for starters, and improves the quality as a bonus! Then be ruthless with yourself, and edit anything you're not 100% happy with. I think you can compress each story by at least a couple of lines without unduly affecting them, making this shorter, punchier, and betterer. |
| Images: | 7 | OK, there are several (points there), they're relevant (points there), and one's by me (points there!) That's good. However, there aren't enough for an article of this length. Even when chopped down per the advice above, I'd say you need at least 1 pic per story, plus one for the "about the author" bit. I'm happy to help if you come up with some ideas - particularly if you find source images and just tell me how to combine them. |
| Miscellaneous: | 7 | Averaged. It's good for the soul. |
| Final Score: | 35 | Well, it's pretty good, and can get better. I may have mentioned above you need to cut this down - I think one of the main reasons this has stayed on the review queue so long is that people (like me) look at it, go bloody hell, that'll take forever to get through, and go review an Un-News or something. I've already made some suggestions above, I'll make another couple below; take these on board, add another couple of images, and you'll have something to be very pleased with! |
| Reviewer: | --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 16:05, Feb 21 | |
Comments:
Story 1 minor nit-pick: "Mother's arms"? They're chickens dude!
Prunability of stories:
1. - Fine, good length. 2. - Interesting, but maybe a tad long. 3. - Good length, but a bit odd - doesn't seem to me to have as much of a point as the first two, and the pay-off is weak. Trim it a little and work on the ending. 4. - Weak and too long. It starts to read like a Wikipedia article - it's obviously fictional, but fictional doesn't = funny, and this lacks funny, for me. Trim it and go for something shorter and pithier. 5. - Not bad, but too long. Trim a bit, but keep the spirit intact. 6. - Er, did you start this one and get stuck? Ditch it, unless you have some absolute gold to add to it.
That should give you plenty to work with. Give me a holler if you have an idea for images and want a hand, other than that... Remember, this is only my opinion, others are available. And good luck! --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 16:05, Feb 21