Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Alice in Sunderland
Alice in Sunderland[edit source]
This is a collab between me and User:Siddhartha-Wolf. I think it probably still needs a little work. Black Flamingo 11:06, October 5, 2010 (UTC)
| Humour: | 7 | First of all, let me say it's a great idea and I really like this. But that’s not a review and not very helpful. So… The opening paragraph is to the point and sets the scene well but, though amusing to Brits, it’s not especially funny for our other users who almost certainly have never heard of Sunderland. Mind you, neither have a lot of Brits.
The Background section, however, is funny. If I was going to nitpick – the bellyflop idea is a little laboured, but the last sentence (gracefulness) is worth the wait. Characters – nice. I thought the white ferret was a penis but you’re obviously not as unsubtle as myself. Actually, most of the Cheshire people I work with don’t think they’re really Northern, as if Cheshire were a wandering Home County. So I liked this. Can the Mock Turtle be a whippet rather than a small dog? It’s so much more Coronation Street I didn’t quite understand the last sentence about the queen. The grammar seems wrong somehow, but I couldn’t say how. And I don’t understand how it’s funny. |
| Concept: | 9 | Concept is brilliant. I think you're right about it needing a bit more. Maybe Alice is too posh or too southern to understand Northern life (in the way Alice can't understand Wonderland in the original) and a few more Northern sterotypes like pigeons, bitter etc |
| Prose and formatting: | 9 | Perfect as far as I can see, I'd give you a ten but I'm not that nice. I pissed about with a couple of things and changed a couple of spellings because I'm too idle to work out how to tell you where I think they are. |
| Images: | 7 | None of the pictures are laugh out loud funny on their own, but they're all very appropriate to the section they're in and some of the captions are excellent. The opening one is difficult to read without opening it separately, the second is excellent and I liked the caption, the third is fine but dull - maybe “The White ferret, not a penis metaphor, apparently” or something. The rest I think are fine. All of them after the first could be a little larger. |
| Miscellaneous: | 7 | Could be longer, could have a few more gags. Difficult to do it too dry and still have it funny since it's not a factual subject to subject |
| Final Score: | 39 | I told you I was shit at reviews. |
| Reviewer: | --Sog1970 22:26, November 22, 2010 (UTC) | |