Uncyclopedia:Featured articles/December 2

Congressmen of the United States ...

For years now we have heard Christians and Catholics tell of the Messiah's second coming; "Jesus will save!" this and "Repent your sins!" that. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for the second coming of Christ and eternal paradise and all that, but if Jesus Christ decided to come back now, we would be in quite a bit of a jam. As a society we are not prepared for the arrival of a guest with such supernatural powers – his mere appearance could spell doom for all that we have worked for. To this end, I have proposed a series of regulations on all Jesus's "miracles", laying down specific restrictions of said miracles, for when he does return. These proposed regulations are the Jesus Laws.

Some people may have trouble believing the fact that someone sent to Earth by God for not the first, not the second, but the third time to usher the masses into that shining place in the sky we like to call Heaven could possibly do harm. How could something so good do such evil?

Easily. (Full article...)