UnNews:Young girl arrested for hoodwinking the world

This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation.

15 December 2010

Mug shot of the girl in question.

ATLANTA, Georgia -- A young girl who had recently moved from Canada to the States has been arrested by Atlanta police and stands charged with fraud for duping the world's population into buying loads of worthless merchandise and listening to countless cacophonies.

The girl, currently 16, managed to deceive people across the globe, convincing them that she was a child prodigy and that her music was actually worth listening to by using an elaborate disguise and hiding subliminal messages in her songs. Police officers and investigators alike were shocked by the events.

The black person who was instrumental in establishing the girl's career exclusively told us, "I had no idea! I'm innocent!" While being questioned about her daughter's crimes, the girl's mother boldly declared, "I don't have a daughter!"

Perez Hilton, wannabe celeb, attention whore and gay faggot, happened to be at the site of the arrest, and spontaneously blurted out, "I'm not sure how the fans will deal with this. Maybe some of the girls will turn lesbian. Lols!"

The Atlanta chief of police seemed taken aback by the revelation, stating, "This crime is a tragedy that has hit the nation in its heart and we're doing the best we can to deal with this situation in the best way possible. We are also looking into rumours of other fraudulent activities in popular culture. We've already requested a search warrant to check beneath Lady Gaga's skirt. The public deserves to know the truth!"

One anonymous source claims that the whole incident can be explained by the existence of a Jane Fonda cloning facility, allegedly located in the Bermuda Triangle.

Sources

• "Breaking News – Girl arrested for flashing kids at beach and stealing their football" TVN Exclusive, July 6, 2010