UnNews:US national debt is owed to whom?

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search
UnNews Logo Potato.png This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation.

19 May 2012

I O WHO?

GEORGE TOWN, Grand Cayman -- An anonymous Unnews sleuth currently down in the Cayman Islands is hot on the trail of the real owners of the United States of America; but so far he has uncovered more questions than answers. As of May 18th 2012 the US national debt has risen to a whopping $15,716,847,744,783. That means the people of the USA individually owe $50,247 – but to whom do they owe the money? Is all that money owed to the privately owned so-called Federal Reserve, which was stealthily authorized to create wealth from nothing? Or is the national debt owed to some other persons? Or both? The issue is of real significance because the creditors of the US national debt are, in fact, the true owners of the country, not the United States government nor the people.

“Who do you think the national debt is owed to?” asked Anonymous. “Just consider: the US has a national debt. Right!? Now it is already $15,716,847,744,783 and growing - OK? But how can the United States owe money to itself? That’s absurd! America owns the copyright to print money!” – Anonymous pointed out. “So if there is a US national debt of $15,716,847,744,783 right now then just imagine if it was all paid back – meaning there’s no more national debt. Then who has all that money? Who was the national debt repaid to?”

According to Anonymous, everyone in America should ask himself or herself, “Who the hell owns the national debt? With every debt there must be a debtor and creditor. Americans owe the money – but to whom is the money owed: The Banks of England, China or Saudi Arabia? The FED? Private bankers? Who owns the money?

”Repaying the US national debt down to the last penny would mean that the people of America would not have a single cent. So then who has it all?” Anonymous challenged. “I concluded long before I was born that the national debt was owed to the Bank of England and other shareholders of the private, non-governmental Federal Reserve. They are the only true owners of the Colonies.

“The owners of the FED are the real proprietors of all the wealth, we’re just sheeple,” Anonymous sighed in indignation as he lounged on Seven Mile Beach sipping a Banana Daiquiri.

When Unnewsdesk was asked about the veracity of this report they responded by saying, ”Dude! Money is not the issue; the real problem is this freaking Unfunny report. There is absolutely nothing humorous about it!"

Note of little consequence[edit | edit source]

According to the ruling Federal Reserve the total number of dollars in existence, including all known money supplies, e.g., M1[1], M2[2], and M3[3] in 2009 equaled $8 trillion. By now the amount of total dollars in the world is maybe $12 trillion. From $12 trillion we have to repay the US national debt of over $15 trillion. Plus there is the trifling matter of $200 trillion in toxic derivatives generated by the too-big-to-failures.

References[edit | edit source]

  1. M1 represents all of the currency in the M0 money supply, held in checking accounts , and in travelers' checks. In July 2009, the M1 money supply for U.S. dollars equaled about $1,655.6 billion [source: Federal Reserve]
  2. M2 is the M1 plus all money held in money market funds, savings accounts and small CDs
  3. M3 is M2 plus all of the large CDs