UnNews:UNews Repoter:"BENSON Secetrian violence is now civil war"
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9 December 2006
Uncyclopedia's ,Vl-BENBAR province-The Uncyclopedian Sectarian violence is continuing to grow as the followers of BENSON(primarily the main militia THE LEAGUE OF BENSON) have recently declared Jihad against the United Sysops of Administration (or USA) following the renaming of the BENSON forum to not include BENSON'S name,widely considered a insult by followers of BENSON. "WHAT HAVE THEY DONE TO OUR GLORIOUS LEADER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" said a radical REASONABLE BENSON extremist "I DECLARE JIHAD AGAISNT THE UNITED ADMINISTRATORS". The Policy that the USA claim to be the reason to rename BENSON'S froum appears not to exist, this has caused massive sectarian violence. Despite talks for peace treaty BENSON followers violence has been getting worse.
And to make things even worse, BENSON has been banned for one month after allegedly being a part of voting fraud crime. "All of these socks have been used to vote for the same picture."The sockpuppets have been banned permanently, Benson has received one month for vote-rigging; it would have been longer but he didn't even manage to get the picture featured." Sir Codeine said in statement on the bust "LOOK UPON YOUR 'LEADER' NOW". A BENSON FOLLOWER later shouts "WHAT? A WHOLE MONTH? BENSON IS MY GOD. WE STILL HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO WORSHIP HIM, BECAUSE WE BELIEVE THAT HE IS BETTER THAN US." Despite the increase in sectarian violence not all BENSON followers have decided to increase attacks, claiming that this fully the crucifixion of BENSON as prophesied by the Grand Commanding Officer and Pa pa Sir Savethemooses the Prophet of the Order of Uncyclopedia, "Lo, BENSON shall be falsely accused of taking on the guise of others, and shall be banned by the evil overlords of the land which was rightfully HIS. BENSON shall rise again in two fortnight's time, and shall return with the burning anger of a thousand suns."
For these reasons I call this a civil war and to make it easier to read(and no it's "not" I'm to lazy) I will list them.
- A civil war is a war that a sovereign fights with it's self.
- Currently it's the followers of BENSON verus the the followers of chronarion[1]
- Because I said it is.
- Everything I say you believe
- So my opinion is also your opinion
- The first amendment lets me say what ever I write
- I'm the one that writes these articles. So I can use what ever words I want to and you'll eventually use them.
Sources[edit | edit source]
- 'Sir' Codeine of Uncyclopedia "Forum:I have banned Benson for sockpuppeting" Uncyclopedia, 00:57, 7 December 2006
- Matea Gold "NBC to use 'civil war' to describe Iraq" Los Angeles times, November 28, 2006
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This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation. |