UnNews:Transforming emoticon destroys boys shirt, life

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12 January 2007

Whatever you do, don't imagine this!

ONTHEWA, Canadia -- Tragedy struck earlier this morning in Ottawa, Canada, in a 2nd grade classroom when Tim Yonson, a six year old boy, imagined an image (shown right) of a transformer turning into a van. The boy's head subsequently exploded as what was described by his horrified classmates as "A big red transforming van" burst from his skull, staining his nice new shirt."

He always had an overactive imagination," said his teacher, John Alpins, earlier this morning, "but we never expected it to become this serious an issue".

The police inspection team soon discovered that the image was an emoticon sent to him by Billy J Anderson an anonymous friend. Police suspect that the emoticon did no initial damage to anyone's clothing because "most people just ignore them". However, as time went on the image sat in the memory of young Timmy before being called up by his conscious mind during 2nd period writing class.

Authorities removed the shirt, out of respect for it's previous owner

The young boy's shirt was irrepairably stained and damaged by brain tissues, and it appears that it cannot be cleaned with bleach; as there is a caption on the front that reads "Sunshine" which changes color in sunlight. Though the shirt itself is white, the caption would be ruined by the bleach and cannot, therefore, be saved. The shirt is to be buried by the family next week, and it is possible that the explosion may have ruined the shirts of several nearby students.

The legal use of imagination in classroom environments has long been a thorn in the side of school boards in both the UK and North America, and it is believed that this case will prove to be a strong argument for those who wish to ban it from educational centres. While no confirmation has been made, it is widely suspected that this shirt-based tragedy will become a key issue in school board elections for the coming year.

Sources

• Joe Walsh "Is imagination radioactive?" BBC, January 12, 2007