UnNews:Tommy Wiseau making film on cocaine sharks
Tuesday, August 13, 2024
Warsaw, POLAND -- Polish Franco-American actor, director, and money launderer Tommy Wiseau has announced an interest in making a movie on the cocaine shark epidemic which has been affecting Brazil for some time.
In an interview with the top reporters at UnNews, Wiseau gave us a basic idea of the plot. "So basically, I like shark since they chomp, chomp. I met them and I now making movie on them. It is going to be draaaama, like The Room. So no comedy. The plot only about the struggle, the pain, the love, and the shark. So much shark! Me and Greg will promote it using big billboard like last time. We making movie about human emotions, about dreams, and the big, scary fish in the ocean"
This isn't Wiseau's first movie on sharks. Big Shark, a movie released last year, was about three firefighters saving New Orleans from sharks. Sadly, it wasn't as popular as Wiseau wanted it to be, probably because of the fact that instead of being a shitty drama, it's a shitty comedy, with The Asylum already making...and milking...a full-blown series on this idea alone. Regardless, Wiseau truly believes in himself this time, stating that he would be dumping over $20 million on this movie.
For casting choices, Wiseau himself stars as the main character, Dr. Charles Marlowe, a marine biologist whose dedication to oceanic research leads him into a deadly confrontation with a rogue shark. Allegedly, Wiseau wanted to name it Charles Manson, claiming that "...it seem like good name." However, his manager pleaded him not to do it, hence the similar name. Wiseau’s vision includes...unique...techniques to capture the shark's “performance,” including extensive CGI and animatronics. The results are, as expected, surreal.
Wiseau himself is expecting to release the movie alongside Michael Bay's next movie...which may include Skibidi Toilet. We live in a weird world, don't we.
Sources[edit | edit source]
- Tasha Robinson "At Tommy Wiseau’s Big Shark, I watched a new cinematic ritual being born" Polygon, January 29, 2024