UnNews:Tobacco exempt from anti-smoking laws

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6 October 2006

The 700% tax on cigarretes makes smoking addictive to governments as well

WELLINGTON, NEW ZEALAND - The New Zealand Government has discovered that preventing smoking in public places has caused several smokers to quit or cut down and has prevented many from starting. Because of the 700% tax placed on cigarettes, this is hurting the government and is straining the budget. Prime Minister Helen Clark states, "The tax placed on cigarettes is at its highest possible point. It's all because of the National government. Not only that, but we may need to tax the pakehas even more. It is getting out of hand, and National is making it worse."

The smoking ban includes tobacco, maraijuana, methamphetamine, grass clippings, and anything else that can be smoked, including salmon. Today, the Labour Party has made tobacco exempt from the ban, and is hoping for more teenagers to begin smoking at colleges around New Zealand.

However, Nandor Tanzcos of the Green Party believes that the ban should also be lifted on marijuana. "This is just ridiculous," he says. "The tobacco companies are holding a monopoly. Tobacco is being imported, and we cannot use the local produce. We need to legalise maraijuana so that the money stays in New Zealand. We need a cleaner, greener New Zealand."

The government looks forward to having more smoking occurring in the future.

Benefits

It is worth noting that some substances in cigarettes are yellow, therefore this also decreases the spread of Yellow Cancer Yellow Cancer can make you look more martian, which is very unwanted.

Sources

• Secret Intelligence Service "Lack of tax earned by government" New Zealand SIS, 6 October 2006

It appears that some students have a drama exam tomorrow... No smoking for them