UnNews:The Intergalactic Boom - More Lies?

This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation.

13 October 2009

One of the thousands of booms in the recent government project

The Intergalactic Boom is a recent installation to space travel, initiated by Rwarlbex Strandford, minister of transport, in order to reduce smuggling and pirate ships (See image). After millions of booms were set up across the universe, costing more than 86 billion Veldac, some are beginning to wonder if this is not merely yet another diversionary tactic from the government. The ‘Keep our Bypasses Clean’ Scandal three years ago, involving moving debris to an allocated spot, which had not passed the necessary health and safety disposal sanctions, cost the tax payers more than 63 billion Veldac. The government became labeled by the public as non-delivering; however, after three years of hard work, the government has slowly won (and rumours of ‘bought’) back the public’s trust.

Authorities plea that you report sighting of pirates or pirate like behavior to your nearest government offices, where you will be offered the chance to wait in queues up to four decades long in order to make our galaxies safer for us all. Pictured is the Victor the Black.

This latest project involved building massive force fields, indicated by white and red booms, across the entrances to hyperways and intergalactic portals, which can allow through vehicles one at a time. These have however, even after the trial stage in Quadrant VX4, Sector 67, proved not to work as well as we were led to believe. All that is required to pass the barriers are a signature and occasionally the wave of a licence.

Victor Smurkthrooughdt, aged 274, CEO of the Yellow Submarine Shipping Co, said: “All they have to do is make up a licence. It just means that we now have the pirates’ signatures, which is normally marked X, in any case, as they can’t read or write, which is perfectly okay, because neither can the controllers, with the modern generation not being able to read or write,” whereupon Mr Smurkthrooughdt continued to denounce the pronounced decline in education standards.

“Dude, they didn’t even have their towel,” was all that former president of the universe, Zaphod Beeblebrox, had to say, regarding the government.

There have been many protests and demonstrations against both the crime and the rapid deterioration present in our intergalactic highways. Many now ask if this project is merely meant to divert our attention.