UnNews:Sri Lankan cricket team seek political asylum after losing test to Bangladesh
Monday, March 20, 2017
Violence erupted in the streets of Sri Lanka's capital Colombo after their nations cricket team committed the cardinal sin of test cricket: Recording a loss against Bangladesh. Once upon a time, this act of treason was reserved exclusively for lesser nations such as Zimbabwe and England,See also: butthurt but for the first time in recorded history, an actually capable team lost to Bangladesh.
Test loss to Bangadesh carries a minimum prison sentence of 20 years in South Africa, Sri Lanka, New Zealand and Pakistan, a life term in the tower of London for English players, deportation to Christmas Island for Australia and a literal public execution in India involving cricket balls being inserted into every orifice until death by prolapse occurs.
Out of fear for their lives in Sri Lankan prison, it is reported all 11 players jumped the border into India, taking their chances swimming the entire Palk strait over the horrible fate that awaited them if mob justice was seen to.
It is currently speculated that the team is headed to England, who themselves are seeking a new cricket team who might actually win not lose 5-nil in their upcoming 2018 Ashes tour.
Sources[edit | edit source]
- "Sri Lanka v Bangladesh: Tigers win their 100th Test" BBC sport, March 19, 2017