UnNews:Rolf Harris in 'extra leg' inquiry
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This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation. |
19 April 2013
Australian artist and TV presenter Rolf Harris is the latest celebrity to be swept up in the sex scandal which suggests that everyone who worked at the BBC in the 1970s and 1980s was some kind of nonce.
Harris was first arrested in March, but police did not name him at the time, simply stating, "An 82-year-old man from Berkshire was arrested by officers on Operation Yewtree on suspicion of sexual offences. Look, he's got big round glasses, we're gonna give him a litte grey beard there, and look, dab a little bit of grey curly hair in there too. Can you tell who it is yet?" The cultural reference went unnoticed as the nation occupied itself making Jimmy Savile jokes, and it was not until this week that the Sun named Harris on their website.
One alleged victim was quoted in today's Sun as saying, "It was horrible. I was performing in a Royal Variety Performance and Rolf asked me to see him in his dressing room. I was so excited - I was such a big fan. And when I got to the dressing room he was wearing his Jake the Peg costume. But... but he made me touch his extra leg. And it wasn't really his leg."
"The next thing I knew, he gripped my arm tight, and he had this wild look on his face. He told me to 'Shake it like a wobbleboard' and I did, I was so scared. Little by little, his breathing became weird and rhythmic. I said, 'Mr Harris that's not a leg', and he said, 'No but it's the best part of a foot'. Then he went 'Deedle eedle eedle dum' and it was all over. And it was all over me."
Mr Harris has refused to comment on the case, but his lawyer told us on IRC, "My client is completely innocent. These allegations are completely unfounded, as are those that I understand are to be published tomorrow, about the exact nature of the didgeridoo that he had requested some young female fans to blow on."
See also[edit | edit source]
- UnNews:Catholic Church set to remove Jimmy Savile's papal knighthood
- UnNews:BBC DJ's warned over possible Savile Pranksters
- UnNews:An American's guide to Jimmy Savile
Sources[edit | edit source]
- Leverage, "Rolf Harris questioned in Yewtree sex offence probe" BBC, April 19, 2013