UnNews:Ripples from black holes look like boobs

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search

Thursday, February 11, 2016

For many scientists working on the project, this was as close as they have come to a real pair.

Scientists have observed the warping of space-time generated by the collision of two black holes more than a billion light-years from Earth - and it bears a striking resemblance to a pair of psychedelic, interweaving boobs.

"We have detected gravitational waves," David Reitze, executive director of the Ligo project, told journalists at a news conference in Washington DC, "And by God, they look sexy."

"I had a real Eureka moment when I punched all the data into the simulator," added Reitze. "And then I had some other moments, which I would rather not talk about in public, but which were very intense and intimate."

For budding young scientists, masturbation expert Joanna Corey recommends listening to 7 Nation Army by the White Stripes while casting their eyes over the space boobs: "There is perhaps no cosmological link between the strained vocals of Jack White and the wobbling, spiralling boobs shapes, but, perhaps serendipitously, it leads to a satisfying, juddering climax."

Sources[edit | edit source]

UnNews Logo Potato.png