UnNews:Paper to become plastic

This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation.

23 November 2006

The Masterminds of UnNews came together, and this is what they think the printer will look like. (Two people are needed to operate it)

PARIS, France -- Toshiba is to turn paper into plastic, after pressure from the French Public have come up with a new age printer.

This printer, prints onto plastic paper, which can be re-used, many times. This is great for people who want to keep important documents for a long time. For example, a Birth Certificate, giving the people an option to re-write your essential records.

The French led a revolution on Sunday, after hearing about paper emissions. Paper emissions is a new theory, theorised by theorist Derren Brown, this is what he said when asked about his theory "paper is giving off nuclear radiation, and if it is continued to be used, mankind, as we know it, could become obsolete.Even my Grandmother says so."

Derren presented the theory on Nov. 16 to an audience of French students, and by the 19th, a group of activists went out and started riots all around Paris. Their demands were "Find a way of producing non-radioactive paper that will not affect our environment." This, put many pressures on Worldwide companies to produce something that would stop this.

Toshiba, reacting very quickly, managed to produce a device that would print on plastic paper in only four days of designing. It is called the Plastic Paper Printing Machine, or PLA.PAP.PRI.MAC, for short.

Surprisingly, Microsoft did not produce a prototype, and when they heard the complaints, they released the following statement, "We, as a company have better things to do. I do not know why people are rioting in Paris; I do not see the point in it. Trees are fine to use at the moment, it's not as if we need them."

This new printing device should be available after Christmas, just in time for the New Year.

Sources

• "Plastic paper" BBC News, November 23, 2006