UnNews:Palestinian Cabinet Moved

This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation.

21 August 2006

The fair ship Palestine sailing into a bright future

RAMALLAH, Palestine - Palestinian authorities have today announced the all future cabinet meetings are to be held in Chateau d'If Prison. This move follows the arrest of a fifth Palestinian cabinet member, Mahmoud al-Ramahi, after a raid on his Ramallah home on 25th June.

Ismail Haniyeh, 53, the Palestinian Prime Minister said “Given the shortages of revenue faced in Palestine we felt that the most cost effective method of conducting the business of government would be by holding cabinet meetings in the yard of Chateau d'If.” He further added that “We have held the first meeting and found it to be much more productive. Given that the all members are only granted half an hour in the yard we have found that decisions have to be made quickly. Indeed we have already allocated the Authority’s budget for the next 10 years."

A poll conducted by WildePoll for UnNews has shown that went asked 82% of the public is in favour of their respective leaders being sent to jail. With such popularity, international observers are closely watching how successful the move will be.

John Bolton, US ambassador to the UN, is known to be particularly enthusiastic about the idea. Bolton, 58, informed UnNews that: “I wish all those f***king bureaucratic wide boys at the UN could be locked up in Sing Sing for life.” To which he added “Bastards!”

The Palestinian National Authority is said to be keen to push the idea further if the experiment proves a success. When pressed Mr Haniyeh stated: “We may move the entire parliament into Israeli custody. Although, No decision has been made in that regard as it is ultimately up to the Israeli government.”

Mr Haniyeh was anxious to add that the arrests were in no way related to the links between Palestinian government officials and the terrorist organisation Hamas.